The Pursuit Of Relevance

How do you want to be remembered? As a Sinner or a Saint? As the girl who never has money to subscribe for a data bundle or the guy who pays for everyone’s ice cream? Cereal, Milk, Sugar, Water or Milk, Sugar, Water, Cereal? The haggler or the person who pays the asking? Tall or short? My bad, completely forgot you have no control over that. Hero or Villain? Speaker of the Truth or Pathological liar? Right leg, sock, shoe, left leg, sock, shoe or Right leg, sock, left leg, sock, shoe, shoe? Retentive memory or Selective amnesia? Can dance or can’t move rhythmically to save your life? The list is endless.

What really is relevant to you? I use my home town as a case study. The Town Hall meeting was getting really fired up as issues were raised. Three gentlemen raised their hands to speak simultaneously. The chairperson of the council with his virtue of hindsight and foresight was able to mentally spot the “wealthiest” of the lot and asked him to go first. Brothers and sisters, Money may be the root of all evil, but you see poverty, it’s the tree, it’s the forest! Don’t let anybody tell you differently. Relevance 101, School of Hard Knocks.

Could it be marrying many wives? Solomon had a thousand of them and still maintains top spot on the wisdom charts. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Does it mean?… Or is it fathering a multitude of children? Brings me to this question, why is it usually those without the means to care for and nurture children, that always go on a birthing spree? A gardener where I live welcomed his fifth child. According to him, it is the work of God and it is marvelous in our eyes. Excuse me, can someone fetch me a belt, this man clearly needs an arse whooping.

It’s interesting, how somewhat easy it is, to become relevant as a Spiritual leader in these parts. Kind of like the betting sites, you gamble on a few followers. Make a few “prophetic” utterances. If somehow, one of your members hits the jackpot, you’ve got yourself a ministry. How else, is there an organization where the clergymen are arraigned in gear used by the armed forces? During deliverance services, they use “koboko” to rearrange the destinies of unsuspecting members. Poetic. I mean a “Prophet” asks to see your teenage daughter and says, “behold this one is stubborn”, as soon as she walks in. Hardly surprising, is it? No rocket science involved. Teenagers are mulish by default.

For the Motor Park tout, the margin of success must be an interesting take. So if I work hard enough, I can graduate from being a bus conductor. In a few years, I get my own Danfo or Molue bus as the case may be. After driving for another lifetime, I get a promotion to be the Chairman of Motor Park in my area. Now I have boys, willing and ready to do my bidding. And that’s really it? That’s progress alright. One day, pride and arrogance set in and I slap an Army officer…purely by accident, of course, coupled with sheer hard luck. Don’t look at me, he was plain-clothed and I had to show him who I was. Now I’m back to square one. No, seriously I’m laying blocks in an army base. Don’t ask me which army base, I can only see from the one eye! Send help!

Relevance through sport. It’s no news that sports stars all over the world are worshipped by an ever-growing fanbase. People go over and beyond when it comes to their favorites. I mean, imagine you’d never put a picture of your beloved mother as your display picture. But Lionel Messi, a football player from Argentina, gets the nod instead. The bare fact is, Leo doesn’t even know you exist! My brother, leave foolishness alone. I remember having an argument online. I pointed out the weaknesses of his favorite football player. This young man proceeded to abuse my parents and unborn children. Imagine my shock! What did the kids do?

Seeking relevance at the workplace has to be chief of the lot. Imagine working all those extra hours in terrible conditions because boldly written on your CV are the words, “I can perform well under pressure”. Best believe if you drop dead on the job, you’ll be replaced in no time. Imagine being the guy that snitches on coworkers for having a good time at work. How do you sleep at night knowing you have no friends and you’re well on your way to an underwhelming funeral? Tragic.

Some individuals are so conscious of their public image, they sometimes forget to live their actual lives. There are no ugly or hungry-looking people on Instagram, it’s incredible! Yet we’re the poverty capital of the world. You’re preoccupied with what the next person thinks of you. Why live a fake life on social media? So that you can “show your haters”? First of all, you’re not that important. Second of all, in the words of WWE enigma and Hollywood sensation Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, “it doesn’t matter”.

It’s about time you stopped thinking and started living. Bear in mind, sometimes, second, guess yourself. An extra piece of meat wouldn’t hurt but mortgaging the house to pay off the luxury car loan reeks of pure unadulterated genius! In my personal pursuit for relevance, I have started a blog with no purpose whatsoever, but here you are, reading my garbage. All I do is win!

Live and let live.

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.