Pain is that ill-advised trip to the pee at 2am. Just as you’re about to make a left turn to the bathroom, you stub your toe against a sharp edge of the bed. Suddenly the sleepiness vanishes from your eyes, you’re in excruciating pain. You open your mouth to scream but only air comes out. And when it finally comes, the scream sounds like it was embellished with auto-tune. T-pain.
Your folks ever disciplined you so much, you start to suspect you’re adopted? Talking about, “there’s no way they’ll treat their biological kid like this.” So you pack your bags in the middle of the night, with a plan to leave at first light the following morning. The next day you realize you left out a few small details. Where the hell are you even going to stay? More importantly, what will you eat? Will you run on oxygen? There’s no life hack for this, go back to your room and sleep!
Advice to the mandem, crying is therapeutic. When something hurts you, don’t indulge society and say “I will be a man, I won’t cry!”. For the love of God, find an empty room and go cry your eyes out. What do you think is the reason grandpa has since left but grandma has been alive since independence? Crying man, c-r-y-i-n-g. These women have held the secret to longevity all these years, right under our noses. But not anymore.
Drink. And by drink, I mean, drink water. You can distract the pain by going to pee every thirty seconds. Keeps your mind preoccupied. Or better yet, you can pretend the pain doesn’t even exist. For a moment just imagine one of your legs gets completely hacked off.
Where are you going to feel the pain?
“In your leg”
But the leg isn’t there?
“See”
Listen to music. One thing about music is, when it hits you, you feel no pain. Preferably from the heavy metal genre. You barely hear a thing as it’s so chaotic. But it best describes how you feel at that moment, so you’re in perfect sync. Do not, I repeat, do not listen to any music from Lana del Rey or Billie Eilish when you’re hurting. We’re not quite ready to eat jollof rice at your funeral.
Take it out on your younger siblings. Used to work for my brother π. All though, to be completely honest, I probably deserved every single one of those love punches. Seriously though, find a nonviolent means for relieving the pain; Like eating lots of food. There is no downside, you can finally get fat, get rid of all the left over’s, and now have the rare privilege of a credit balance reading in binary.
Away from the banter. The first step to dealing with pain is acceptance. The second step is, sharing, and the last step is moving on, which is the hardest part, experts say. For me though, the only way to handle pain is to know pain and be a pain…
in someone else’s arse.
Β© Gottfried. All rights reserved.
I once was lost in the hope of having my real parents appear and tell me they were away only for the first few years of my life but now they’re back! Aswear, I lived with that fantasy for years most especially when I got beaten in the midnight ππ€£…
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Haha but why were you getting your arsed whooped at midnight. Are you a were wolf?
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Lol… I was becoming a pain in someone’s arse!
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It be like that sometimes π
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Thanks π
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Nice post
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Music
Music does not drown my emotional pain. It intensifies the pain I feel thinking of the death of my son in 2016.
One does not βmove onβ from this. That pain always exist below the surface.
Just my two cents….
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Thank you so much for sharing. May you find peace. Maybe not through music but the good memories you had with him. β€
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Nice one bruh!
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Thanks Daisy β€
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You always welcome
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β€β€
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This is too good.
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Thanks Pope
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Enjoyed the banter
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Thank you Carl β€
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Sometimes you just feel like you are not part of the family especially when parents use some foul words on you. I could remember there a day I was forced to ask my mum that she should show me and take me to my real mum…lol
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Haha real talkπ
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Really worth reading!βΊ
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Thank you π
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You are so wise! I enjoyed reading this as always.
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Thank you Juliet. π
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Interesting read. My brother tried packing out once too (and that around 10pm), me was like “where are you going to by this time of the night”π€·ββοΈπ
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Haha 10 pm oh
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Nice.
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π
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Mehn you’re getting better each day, nice post…I’ve gotten additional life hack thanks.
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Haha you’re welcome and thanks
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Nice write up!
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Thank you π
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Nice one!! Youβre a pain in my arse ππ. Taking it out on siblings, guilty. Bless their hearts they donβt hate me π
I thought of leaving a a child but, I wasnβt impulsive. I had a well thought out plan(I was going to show my parents I donβt need them). I wanted to open a kiosk and, buy a wooden house(batcher). I just didnβt know who would give me money.
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Haha it’s the little details
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Lol
The tears part got me
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ππ
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Wow I kept smiling as I read facts…seriousness with funπ this very nice.
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Thank you very muchπ
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This is therapeutic as well as funny. Isn’t funny it’s own therapy ?
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It is, you’re right ππ
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πππ I love how you wrote this. Sad truths but so funny I can’t stop smiling.
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Haha thanks Jessica
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πππ
“Your folks ever disciplined you so much, you start to suspect youβre adopted?”…lol I can relate. I’ve been there before.
I remember times I ate my meals in the kitchen, sitting on those small kitchen stools with the feelings that I must definitely be a maid somehow,after being disciplined π
Las las when my tears are all dried up I find myself back to the couch in the sitting room feeling like a member of the family again…lol
So crazy!
Thanks for bringing back funny memories.π
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Thank you for sharing π π
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ma nigga! l… always on pointπ
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Thank you π
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I love to cry when Iβm angry, stressed, sad etc. let me not say βI love toβ I would say βI cryβ when Iβm feeling unhappy and it helps me not to give two fucks about that issue again. π. Yasss Iβm a cry baby π
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Haha come here you poor thingπ π
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π π π
Always on point with ur crazy sarcasm… The leg pain got me
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Gbedu enter bodyπ
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what do we say to the god of pain?
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Haha, not todayπ
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Soo true ππΌππΌπniceeee
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π π π
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I remember me wanting to run away from home… and now I’ve a first degree and I’m still in that house
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Haha, it’s time to run away, but your legs don’t work like they used to beforeπ
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Just going home from a stressful day at work, and this piece made me feel better. Normal me would have just opted to listen to lana del Rey ππ…… But I see their are better options.
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Haha don’t do lana manπ
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Crying everything out is just the best thing to do. πͺπͺ
I really like this.π
Well done dear.
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Thank you. π
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When we’re in pain, we almost always take it out on others but it’s good to see that that is a great way to deal with itπ
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Haha don’t quote me
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Nice write up once again. On the part where U said crying is therapeutic, I just discovered that secret not long ago. There is dis feeling of relief u get when tears trickle down ur cheeks. So fellas let that tears flow once in a whileπ
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ππππππ dying
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Guy 2am pee like happens in every body’s childhood or even now and the Music is a very essential tool in this piece Nice one Gee
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Thanks man. Brilliant commentπ
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I have to give it to you brother.
Nice work
Pain is neccessary, pain is your friend not in the moment but for the evolution of your soul.
You are given pain because you are strong enough to handle it….if you are already in pain get a reward for it.
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Deep words brother. Thanks for the comment π
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What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe?
Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.
If you are not scientist ask one to explain you lol!!!
Kisses!!!!!
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An intelligent way to say FUCK .
Each element has a letter to represent it, Fluorine= F, Uranium=U, Carbon=C, Potassium= K.
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Haha just seen this after I replied you π
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Kisses!!!!!
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Haha. Urban Dictionary helped me out! “F.U.C.K” K for potassium π
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I used to wish I would find out that I was adopted, for exactly the same reason as you said. Then I realized I looked waay too much like my parents. Then I realized if I had been adopted that would mean they actually wanted me and chose to have me, so I realized I must have been an unwanted accident. Then I wanted to be adopted by someone else.
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Wow, this is deeply moving. I hope you were able to smoothen things out as time went on…
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I wasn’t, but when I look at the issues I understood as an adult, I realized I was not making them up because they were there all along. It did help to know that I wasn’t over-analyzing!
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True true
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Wonderful piece chief.
By the way, what do you call the pain that comes from spilled Tea on your body?….
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Haha we need some doctors to consult
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TeaPain, I guess…
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You’re in the spirit π
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Vibe
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Lol
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Vibe
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So trueππΌππΌπ niceeee
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Thank youπ
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Nice piece here. Everyone will want to avoid pain, but, sometimes it’s necessary for our growth.
Being a pain is what I don’t understand. Can you please elaborate?
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In my next post maybeπ
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Very true.
You made sense as always!
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Thank you Kezia π
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True
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π
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I can relate to the discipline part…. had doubts at some point while growing up. you know what I mean.
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I do, I really do
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Lord Pain!
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πππ
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What do you think is the reason grandpa has since left but grandma has been alive since independence?
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Tears π
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Good stuff π
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Thank you
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This is beautiful β¨
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Thank you cocoπ
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P.L.A.I.N
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π
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P. A. I. N
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ππ
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Mehn ππππ. The waking up at 2am to pee had that feeling of ”what is he even getting at”? Then boom the pain. That got me good. πΊ. Nice work
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πππ thanks
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Let me follow your advice for once…… time to go be a pain in someone else’s arse ππ½ββοΈππ½ββοΈππ½ββοΈππ½ββοΈ
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Haha as the good Lord intended
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I totally agree with your last sentence. Earth hasn’t had a finer way of relieving pain.
I enjoyed this Moh, well done.
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Thank you preciousπ
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You are MAD π. …Made me smile… and then felt a bit teary, and smiled again
“to handle pain is to know pain and be a pain, in someone elseβs arse?”
Revenge
Lol
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Haha sweet revenge
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Funny but true, but being a pain in someone’s arse may be dangerous at times
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The things we do for loveπ
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Like a friend will say, “What are friends/relations for, if not for inconveniences”
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You’re absolutely right π
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After reading the Lana del Rey/Billie Eilish reference, I just had to drop a comment
Bruhhh ππππ So true Lol
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Haha, I might have had you in mind. Hang in thereπ
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πππ So true
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π π π
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Good for you. This is wonderful!
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Thank youπ
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“Know pain and be a pain……. In someone else’s arse”. I see you take your own advice.
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Haha if I don’t take it…
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“Moving on”
That’s a part that seems difficult.
How do you just leave it all behind?
But then, it is good to…
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You’re absolutely right π
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