Humor Me

Humor is life and is seen in everything around us. That being said, it’s not okay to just sit quietly and then suddenly burst into fits of laughter. Psychopath! There are people who refuse to follow the natural order of things but in the end, life has a way of humbling us.

Doctor: Sir

Patient : It’s ma’am!

Doctor: Ma’am, you have testicular cancer

Dad and I are having a conversation about academic excellence and my question to him is, how is it that all the old folks around us claim they were high fliers in school? Who were the dumdums, school dropouts, the “last fives” if you will?

He’s at first unable to give a satisfactory answer on the day and I think I’ve won the battle. A few days later, one fine morning, he asks me to ride shotgun. I ask him where to? He says you wait! We get to the motor park and he points to a group of men arguing at a Newspaper Stand and goes, “there’s your last five”. He may have lost the battle, but he won the war.

Philosophers argue that the prettier the face, the less likely anything reasonable comes out of the mouth. Maybe I agree, just a little bit. The pretty ones are already used to the other party carrying the conversation while they contribute sparingly so there’s a chance they’ve never really had to task their brain, using their good looks to get by. But if you’re ugly(which you most likely are), there’s simply no excuse. The die has been cast.

As much as you’re willing to respect old folks, remember that fools age too. As I speak my truth, I know I am in big trouble. We can’t accord these seasoned professionals the status of entry-level foolishness. Instead, we elevate them to a higher standard of foolery. Cause they’re veterans you know! Respect the troops.

I personally like dark humor. You know, dark humor is like clean water, not everybody gets it. You want to marry the girl of your dreams but there’s the off chance she’s a marine spirit. For a clearer picture though…

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man over there without arms? Ask him to clap.

Kid: Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

As difficult as life gets, remember that you always have humor around you to help you get by. And if you’re in dire straits and can’t remember a joke to lift your spirits…

Pick up a mirror
Β© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

172 thoughts on “Humor Me

  1. Funny stuff! Your mind never ceases to amaze me, but didn’t I see you at that newstand the other morning.

    Well . . . just kidding! I think the Last Five have moved over to the cafe down the road. They drink coffee and solve all of the world’s problems, but the cheapskates never leave the pretty server a tip. They barely if ever notice her.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m pretty sure the patient replied with “SIR??!!”
    Doctor: oh..ooh…🌚
    Dark humour…its understanding comes like the clicking of a lock to a safe of a billion black Diamond…
    It clicks, you’re no human

    Liked by 3 people

  3. πŸ˜… Girl of our dreams having a high chance of being Marine spirits? If I talk, I’ll be in trouble. Lmaooooooo.

    Beautiful piece brother, Awe.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wow, nice write up bro. A short one, but filled with humor. In fact its a well calculated humor dished from your Reservoir. Hmmmm Ebuka’s Reservoir. Well, I got something today. They are levels of foolishness and there is an entry point/level and that of the woman’s conservation with her son. Bro you try. Well done.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. 🀣🀣🀣
    Mbok which one is testicular cancer again?

    Meanwhile I am handsome and not ugly πŸ˜ƒ
    But Las Las none of our parents will ever tell us they failed in school. They keep telling you how they made good grades back in the days. Please whose father and mother came last in the class cos I want to know🀣🀣.

    Nice one brother. Keep doing the great work✌️

    Liked by 3 people

  6. You’re really in your own space, your own planet, possibly your own country…I believe u climb down the tree🌲with your head down and legs up. Funny dude. Lol

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Several things are running through my mind after reading this.. Top of the list is, how does a woman have Testicular Cancer bikoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, Also the bluntness in your writing is refreshing. Nice work dear. Really look forward to reading more😊😊

    Liked by 3 people

  8. You want to marry the girl of your dreams but there’s the off chance she’s a marine spirit. For a clearer picture though…( what’s the picture really )
    πŸ˜‚ this got me scared though.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. To think you had got your dad…not knowing you were a winning loserπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.. Smart man, he gave you time to enjoy your small victory…Great write up. Keep it up,bro

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Dark humour is the absolute best! I love how relatable and enlightening your posts always are. It’s refreshing!
    Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s gold.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Dad is so smartπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„i am sure his thought will have been,YOU THOUGHT YOU HAVE GOT ME ,I WILL SHOW YOU WHO IS MORE SMART..They have a way of showing you that they are never wrong… great postπŸ‘

    Liked by 4 people

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