Banter

Make It Make Sense

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There are things we’ve seemingly normalized in today’s society and we need to address a few of them because, why not? “The best things in life are free”. No, they’re not!

“I always tell people”. First of all, you don’t always tell me, as a matter of fact, you’ve never told me. Do I look like the people you’ve been telling? There’s no way on God’s green earth you’d tell me stuff like you shit your pants in high school and I’d forget. Absolutely-not-happening!

When people act like they don’t hear you the first time you speak to them, so you have to repeat yourself? Is this a joke to you?

Gottfried: What happened to the cornflakes?

Bayo: Huh!

Gottfried: You heard me!

Bayo: Oh! the cornflakes

Gottfried: No…the corned beef

It’s really rich of you to call out people that think the earth is flat on their stupidity. I’m not saying they aren’t, I’m just saying let people believe in whatever makes them happy. Like Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and peter pan. The earth is flat! No, you say, it’s spherical! It’s also rotating, but can you feel it move? But you believe regardless? Sheep.

People that get upset when you don’t recognize them.

Random old lady: Gottfried! Gottfried!

Gottfried: Err…hi

Random old lady: Gottfried! (Tugs at my cheeks) You don’t recognize me again

Gottfried: Nope

Random old lady: But…but I carried you when you were just a baby…

Gottfried: (Under my breath) No shit Sherlock Holmes, you haven’t aged a day!

When you remove a tick from a dog, you have to show it to the dog? The same happens with humans, but the saying is curiosity killed the cat? Some believe cats are reincarnations of dead grandmothers and I’m inclined to agree. I’m all for having dogs and cats as pets but I can’t quite wrap my head around having a pet hen. You mean we’re just going to allow you pamper some chicken wings? Hot sauce on it.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Simply because you don’t have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn’t exist. What I’m saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don’t know that we don’t know. For instance, you don’t know that you don’t know, you don’t have sense. And that’s facts.

As you keep roaming this planet, it’s pertinent that you search for your one true purpose. Don’t waste all your time trying to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company when your destiny is to be a groundsman. No debating who lived a more rewarding life...

CEO of course

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

134 comments

      1. As for People that get upset when you don’t recognize them how can i remember someone dat carried me when i was baby.
        When they things like don’t u recognise me. I do say in my mind: i don’t remember u when i was baby and u want me to remember now? This Common sense that is not common

        Liked by 1 person

    2. You talking of when people don’t here. What of when people are seeing u and what u are doing but they don’t see and know what u are still doing? Example:
      Dayo: Sunny are u washing?
      Me: Dayo it’s seems to me u blind or something
      Dayo: I’m asking you a question
      Me: No I’m not washing I’m pounding yam
      Dayo: Ah ah
      Me: Nonsense. U saw I’m washing nd u still dey
      ask if I’m washing
      Me: No grinding fresh pepper. Mtchew.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  6. When an old family friend comes and start telling you ‘oh so you cant remember me’?

    I’m always like ‘nigga, I cant even remember some of my classmates from primary school, so who the heck are you?!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. Banter Lord, what do you have for those who never forgets to say “This child that was born just yesterday is now grown”?
    Btw, this was another hit. You banter a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  28. That’s quite stressful…”like really ma’am?? i was a baby and could hardly recognize myself and now that i’m all grown…i can’t possible recognize you at a first glance…lol…THIS IS QUITE INTELLIGENT

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  29. When I have time (and some days I don’t, for I spend on average, 12-14 hours on research and writing), yours is often the first blog I visit, for I always leave with a smile on my face! Thank you for brightening my day! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  47. The ideas given here are relatable and true but you stated problems we already know and not howto deal with them, I for one like the critic with its touch of humor. And please add bullets to make them concise. Thanks dear.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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