How To Avoid Lending People Money

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We’ve all been there really. Being asked for money and looking for a way out of the really uncomfortable spot. Because in all honesty, lending money might put your own current and/or future financial security at risk. Humans generally are insatiable and are ready to borrow you into penury. You owe it to yourself to make an ‘attempt’ to stop this from happening. It’s always worse if the leeches are members of your immediate family. But there’s hope! Here are a few ways out.

Make it a policy. Before lending out money to a friend, decide which you need most. It’s really not enough to make this policy, you have to enforce it. The policy is really simple, never lend money to family and friends. I’ll tell you this straight up, it’s a lot easier to get your money back from strangers than family and/or friends. With strangers, you can threaten to lock them up. Nobody is letting you lock up your younger brother up. Grandpa will be rolling in his grave. Even though you will be well within your rights…

Don’t disclose your financial details. Feel free to lie about being broke! It’s a necessary evil. No matter how much you’re pressured, never disclose how much you have in the bank to anyone, maybe…other than your significant other. It might even backfire! She might be the one to snitch to the relatives that her spouse is making bank. Next thing you know, you’re carrying the entire extended family on your back and they all ‘promise’ to pay back. Restraining orders are in order!

Offer to help in other ways. There is no practice more dangerous than lending money. Rather than lend money out in large amounts, offer your other services, like exposure. If possible, only lend amounts you could otherwise dash the borrower. That way if they don’t pay back, which is mostly the case, your pockets’ not too hurt. A trick that works is, as soon as they open their mouths to ask, tell them you were even just going to ask them too. Times are hard. Desperate measures call for desperate times.

Ask for time to decide. Tell them you need time off to think about their requests. It could be a week, month, year, decade… take as long as you need! And prayer mixed with faith, they just might forget. This hardly works though, but it’s worth a try. Also, do not make any promises! The harassment that follows making a promise is unprecedented. You can also just gift them a much smaller amount, in the time being. By smaller amounts, I mean little acts of kindness like sending them links to job applications.

If all the above still don’t work, you have to take things up a notch and FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH! Dead men don’t lend out money, because well, they’re dead. But given how desperate people are these days, they might want to show up at your funeral to confirm your demise. Rustling your coffin looking for some change and whatnot. Now if you weigh the cost of funerals(pallbearers and all), it’s much easier to just lend them the money and live!

But of course, the best way to make someone remember you? Borrow money off them…

And travel

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

 
 
 
 

220 comments

  1. Charlee: “We handle this by not having any money.”
    Chaplin: “Yeah, can’t lend what you don’t have.”
    Charlee: “Of course that means we can’t buy our own stuff.”
    Lulu: “Fortunately we also sponge off Mama and Dada for everything we need.”
    Chaplin: “It’s a pretty epic scam, but you need to be cute and furry to pull it off.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for presenting this lending issue in a comic way. Many of us, including myself have been bittered in this regard. But rather than dancing around the defensive/destructive approaches of lending money, why not look at the constructive approach, without having to fake commitments and attitude to lending. Rather than tell ‘lies’ or act ‘stingy’, we can choose to be mild – by simplying declaring that we can’t give at the moment. By this the borrower will know that you are a not ‘stingy’. Let GOD bless us with what will empower us to give and not just lend. AMEN

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I feel like you’re approaching this from am angle where you imagine the borrower is logical and rational.
      Every single time you give an excuse to a borrower for not lending them money, they brand you stingy. It’s something you have to live with.
      If they can guilt trip you, 100% of the time, they would.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. One very good day I will settle down and list everyone that I can remember that’s owing me…noo loan is not free oo neither is borrowing 😂like, whats the difference?
    I will just ask them to borrow me money and then remind them of their debt🏃🏃

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Rather than lend money out in large amounts, offer your other services, like exposure. If possible, only lend amounts you could otherwise dash the borrower. That way if they don’t pay back, which is mostly the case, your pockets’ not too hurt.
    That’s the way I go.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. “acts of kindness like sending them links to job applications” this got me😂. They really need to work their ass out to know how hard it is to get money, then we’ll see if they could also do giveaways to fam and friends …lol

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Words to live by bro.

    There’s a saying: “Even if you donate all your money to Charity, you still wouldn’t solve hunger and poverty in the world”
    Do the best you can but no go do pass yourself

    Liked by 3 people

  7. You see those arrogant debtors, they’ll even tell you that your country is in debts and they’re not the first to owe, forgetting how meek they were when they came borrowing.
    I can’t even lie that I don’t have, I’ve simply exhausted my budget and by jove I’ve got nada to lend you. That idea of giving only what you can forego is the best piece of advice ever.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Heheh really funny piece, and important too. This should be updated to life hacks post🙂. My heart still bleeds on my debtors that refuse to pay back. I never owed anyone. I wonder how they got the heart to live with that when the bible says ” owe no man anything”.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Hahahaa. However I think if your family members are like mine, who are trustworthy and keep their words, it’s okay to lend them money as you are 100% sure of their paying back. It’s a different case for strangers.

    But what I learnt from my late father is to instead “give” what you can afford or easily let-go of.. so incase they don’t pay back, you are not hurt. #Jooget ?

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Best post yet😂😂 i have been borrowing, when i get the funds back, brooo😂😂😂

    I had Start to implement this from top to bottom.😂😂 i had fake my own death and say my body is in a lagoon or so

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I’ve learnt one more technique that works today….
    I have learnt a lot the hard way. People have taught me ehn.. So much that even if they say their entire family is dying, 1 penny ain’t leaving my purse do them.

    😂😂🤣🤣 well written, but Ebuka shey you know if you continue like this you Won’t make heaven.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Lend someone money and you’d be the only one to keep in touch! Such is life 🤔… It’s so sad. Some don’t consider days coming or the person who lent them might have done it inconveniently.
    Life would only be fair if I can borrow money, travel and not look back.🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Lol @ fake your own death.
    That was how I borrowed my neighbour money some time ago, then I was dying in hunger and would always perceiving nice food aromas from his room and when ever I asked him for the money, he’d reply with “things are hard”…”yes o,things are hard indeed,like I can perceive the hardness from your room!”
    Life!…humans!

    Liked by 4 people

  14. This piece is timely. As I type ,a friend is in my DM trying to borrow money right now, I’m yet to get back the one I lent to another friend since May. This life is a pot of beans

    Liked by 5 people

  15. My weakness!
    Always find it very difficult to say no to people who want to borrow from me save I don’t have. I have recorded huge bad debt as an individual and not as a business entity.
    Your recommended approches to lending is highly appreciated.

    Liked by 5 people

  16. Me, I’ve learnt my lesson😭😭, I borrowed someone money(in school that time) and she comes back every night with shawarma, when I ask for the money, she’ll be like I don’t have money, they bought this one for me, ahh, I could not cry😪😪, I still want my money…
    I really hope she see this….😂😂

    Nice one this morning… Well done😍

    Liked by 5 people

  17. This was really educative. Humans can be so annoying 😩. In my case, my immediate family members are the best to lend money to and from. We respect each other’s hustle. Few of my friends have sense too.

    Liked by 6 people

  18. Lolz, who’s even lending money nowadays, everyone including the ones u know have really secured the bag uses ‘Bubu’ as an excuse😀. So this era of ‘change’ is a perfect excuse.

    Liked by 6 people

  19. I learnt my lessons on lending money a long time back, when I lent my transportation fare for the next week to one of the brethren. History has the rest of the story

    Liked by 6 people

      1. “…If possible, only lend amounts you could otherwise dash the borrower. That way if they don’t pay back, which is mostly the case, your pockets’ not too hurt…” This is one policy to live by and it surely works. The borrower will def have a rethink before coming back next time.

        Liked by 4 people

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