Cheat Codes

The reward for hard work is more work. So settle for less and stop working. It’s pointless. Is cheating wrong? Cheaters don’t think cheating is wrong until they get cheated on. Which is why you must never get cheated on. Surprises, I feel now, are primarily a form of violence. Don’t surprise me. If you’re going to cheat, make it seem like it’s their fault. Only one gender is capable of this.

Why people cheat. Most people cheat because they’re paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have. If you know someone is already taken, please respect their relationship. Don’t be the reason they end up single. At least let them stay in the relationship and be taken for granted.

Cheating is not an accident. Falling off a bike is an accident. You don’t just trip and fall into your ex-lovers bed. You made effort for that to happen. You undid your shoelaces and deservedly tripped. The worst kind of hurt is betrayal, because it means someone was willing to hurt you just to make themselves feel better. Your dedication to being an arsehole has earned my respect.

The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do. Even if it means defrauding the government. You only have one life to live, better make it count. What would you rather be, ridiculously rich for ten years or poor forever? The choice is yours. Or you can just live a boring not too poor life like the rest of us. Nah, take the first offer!

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. To be good at it, you must be deliberate. You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt but somehow that still didn’t stop you. If another woman steals your man, there’s no better revenge than letting her keep him. Real men can’t be stolen. You’ll be lonely though. Just putting that out there. Lonely and miserable.

If you succeed in cheating someone, don’t think that the person is a fool. Realize that the person trusted you much more than you deserved. I mean, they’re still foolish, but you’re the bigger fool. Don’t make promises. Promises are worse than lies because you don’t just make them believe, you also make them hope. Don’t give them hope.

Liar liar pants on fire. Nobody likes a cheater, but when given an opportunity to cheat, I dare say most will cheat if they know they will get away with it. At the end of the day, everyone is a sinner, it is just the degree of the sins, some more, some less. The more cashless our society becomes, the more our moral compass slips. Would I cheat to save my soul? No. But to save my G.P.A.?

Yes.

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