The lies Politicians Tell

A politician needs to foretell what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

The problem with political jokes is that they get elected. Every single election it feels like the general public selects the dumbest to lead. These politicians are people who when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

Stupidity is not a competition unless you’re a politician. Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason. I know a politician that literally needs a diaper change every now and then. In Mexico, an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but it doesn’t work very well.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. It is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. Put the politicians on a minimum wage and watch how fast things change. If we lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to us, it’s politics. Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper likes you.

The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. With politicians, hope for the best, expect the worst and take what comes. Don’t vote…

it only encourages them

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