Whenever I am sad, I go to my favorite place... the fridge. It’s crazy that when kids these days are feeling sad, they get told to close their eyes and imagine themselves in a happy place. In my day, you were happy enough to be alive in the reality of my father’s house. Imagine crying … Continue reading Dealing With Sadness

Always be well dressed, even when begging. If you’re going to visit my home to ask for a loan, kindly look the part. Show up in a tuxedo so that I know you’re serious about repaying. If you show up in torn clothes, I’m not even going to chuck any change at you. You’ve clearly … Continue reading Begging

Don’t travel with animals. Going home for Christmas and dad decides it’s a great idea to carry a hen in the trunk. Before long, the hen jumps out of the box onto the back seat, so we pull up because everyone at the back is uncomfortable. As Dad makes his way to the back to … Continue reading How To Not Get Robbed

You can never come too close for comfort. Once you're comfortable with the way you dress, you express yourself a lot more, and you're able to have a lot more fun. When it comes to wearing clothes, I spent so much of my life optimizing for comfort over style. You can imagine my surprise discovering … Continue reading Comfortable

The reward for hard work is more work. So settle for less and stop working. It’s pointless. Is cheating wrong? Cheaters don’t think cheating is wrong until they get cheated on. Which is why you must never get cheated on. Surprises, I feel now, are primarily a form of violence. Don’t surprise me. If you’re … Continue reading Cheat Codes

Everyone wants happiness, don't let them take it. Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. Be happy, it drives people crazy. Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. A lot of people only feel joy once a week, and that's the drive home on friday to … Continue reading Real Joy

Oh to be a kid again! As a kid I used to talk to the fan to hear my robotic voice. I’d also look forward to my birthday. These days, birthdays are a constant reminder that evil exists in this world and that we are born to die. Time is running out for the adult … Continue reading Childhood Memories

What it is. Addiction is the only disease that manipulates your mind and assures you that you don’t have it. We all have vices. Some more harmless than the others. Choose your poison carefully. Alcohol is the perfect solvent, it dissolves marriages, families and careers. To love an addict is to run out of tears. … Continue reading How To Deal With Addiction

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during math class. None of which had anything to do with math. One day I was born. Then everything bothered me. And that brings us up to date. My idea of a good morning is one where I open my eyes, take a … Continue reading Entertaining Ideas

What’s important? It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose. You see, winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is. I might wake up and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. Arguments. What’s the difference between a man buying a lottery ticket … Continue reading How To Win