If singing was food, it will be burnt toast. I hate when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong. Yes I sing in my car. Yes I know you can see me. No I don’t care. This pork my wife just served me is so raw, put a bandaid … Continue reading Nonstop Singing

A large group of people is called “No thanks”. People are scared of getting fined for congregating in crowds. As if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent. Only dead fish go with the flow.  A man who wants to lead an orchestra must turn his back on … Continue reading Overcrowded

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large gatherings. They can alter the trajectory of four years of your life. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. If you let out of a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell “Jet Power” and start running.  I’m not lazy, I turned off … Continue reading True Power

Confusion is the secret ingredient that keeps life interesting. An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. Sometimes a catastrophe is simply a course correction.  I came, I saw, I forgot what I … Continue reading The Conundrum

I stay warm by running away from people who say they like cold weather. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Two warm bodies and one cold bottle of rum will produce something more wonderful than would happen without the rum.  Thank goodness it’s finally hot enough to justify my … Continue reading Warmth