My love for you is like a fart that can’t be contained. It’s like a copied assignment, I can’t explain it. Bursting out aloud in all its glory and fragrance. To be loved is to be a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside. Yes, I have a dirty mind … Continue reading How To Love Truly

I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't catch fire. Every time you think about her, remind yourself that if she wanted to talk to you, she would. Don't call her up and ask if she saw your texts, of course she did. She doesn't just like you like that. Move on man. Then just … Continue reading The D In Disappointment

Why do we only have to rest in peace? Why don't we live in peace too? Peace is more than the absence of war. Peace is accord. Peace is harmony. For peace of mind, resign as the general manager of the universe. I know you won't be entitled to retirement benefits and gratuity, but the … Continue reading The Cost Of Peace

Behind a nagging woman, there is a man not doing what he's supposed to. My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while, you don't notice it anymore. You see, there are only three things women need in life. Food, water, and compliments. Any woman that's trying to get you to provide … Continue reading How To Deal With Nagging

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. What is this magic? I need that magic. Magic is what happens when you're on the toilet seat and suddenly five million dollar ideas hit you at once! The real magic is getting up from the toilet seat and pulling the flush handle, only for … Continue reading Just Like Magic