Lesson one. Only trust people who like big butts…they cannot lie. It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive. Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky. We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.  A bald spot is … Continue reading Web of Lies

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem but they really don’t know me. There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do. A good rule to remember about life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.  Being called weird is like being … Continue reading Perks of being Quirky

Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures. Persist like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you reach your destination. Teasing is only funny if it is funny to the person receiving it. Try to be a rainbow to someone’s cloud. Stop being a storm.  Cinderella is proof that a new pair of … Continue reading Meaningful Gestures

I don’t like cutting people off. But it’s like they’re handing me the scissors. Don’t let your loyalty become slavery. If they don’t appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alone. Not everyone appreciates your desire to eat steak that is well done. Enjoy your medium rare.  Relatives. Relatives will fight over … Continue reading Cutting off

Baby Boomers. Had “social networking” back in the day, it was called “Go outside and play”.  Baby boomers blame millennials for everything but who puts carpet all over hardwood floors? And cotton covers on toilet seats? Now, do I think baby boomers tend to be self absorbed? I do.  Generation X. Never had babysitters. Parents … Continue reading The Generations