Thank you for shouting at me said no deaf person ever. The handicap of deafness is not in the ear; it is in the mind. Being deaf does not make you dumb, just as hearing does not make you smart. Success listens only to applause, to all else it is deaf. In every good marriage, … Continue reading Tone Deaf

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. The bad news is time flies, the good news is you're the pilot. What's happening with your phone? Every time I call you it says, 'Receiver is broke ' To … Continue reading Running out of Time

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. I think it’s funny that people who treat you like carpet get offended when you finally do the same to them. My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Nobody laughed, out loud that … Continue reading In Bad Taste

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. I think having a baby must be like one of those ‘surprise toys’ where you don’t know which one you’ve got till you open it. And you have to act surprised when … Continue reading Surprised

Airplane anxiety is only funny when you’re on the ground. When you’re up there in the air, for the brief period there’s turbulence you can hear even atheists acknowledge God. I’m sure the best part about being a flight attendant is being able to look at random people and saying “Trash”.  People used to assume … Continue reading Flying Without Wings