Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Paranoia plays into all of us. Trust is a terrifying idea of not knowing who we can rely on. You shouldn’t make vows. The moment you do, fate starts conspiring to shove them down your throat. It’s why I skipped my wedding … Continue reading A Little Bit Paranoid

Why are people so mean? Well because the best way to not get your heart broken is to pretend you don’t have one. When the weather is hot, keep a cool mind. When it’s cold, keep a warm heart. So ironic how someone’s cold heart can start a fire in someone else’s. I have the … Continue reading Cold Hearted

The only relationship I have is with my WiFi. We have a connection. Friends and relationships should be wirelessly interconnected. Many people are connected only when in range like a saved wifi network. Most of us don’t realize it but we’re all connected in a much bigger way than the fact we’re animals. Relationships are … Continue reading True Connection

Having a new baby will make you so grateful for everything, like the fact that your cells didn’t multiply and create twins. Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course. Having kids is a reason to travel, never a reason to … Continue reading Making Babies

If caring is a crime, I’m innocent. If it’s a crime to be cute, then yes I’m a criminal. Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go. Now accepting applications for partner in crime. Must be fluent in smart-ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. A lack of … Continue reading True Crime