A true champion is someone that sweats from exhaustion when no one is watching. Hairy. Winning is great sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to take losses. Champions never complain, they are too busy getting better.  To me, a peanut butter sandwich is the … Continue reading Champions

Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. The kitchen has good. For all men who say “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” remember, that’s where the knives are kept.  If the “joke” puts women down, it’s not funny.  Gender equality is not a women’s issue, it’s … Continue reading Agender

If singing was food, it will be burnt toast. I hate when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong. Yes I sing in my car. Yes I know you can see me. No I don’t care. This pork my wife just served me is so raw, put a bandaid … Continue reading Nonstop Singing

A large group of people is called “No thanks”. People are scared of getting fined for congregating in crowds. As if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent. Only dead fish go with the flow.  A man who wants to lead an orchestra must turn his back on … Continue reading Overcrowded

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large gatherings. They can alter the trajectory of four years of your life. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. If you let out of a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell “Jet Power” and start running.  I’m not lazy, I turned off … Continue reading True Power