We were young. It was a good time. She was adorable and sweet, I was up to no good. Oil and water don’t mix but I somehow made it happen. Now we’re seated in the kids' church, it’s time for prayers so everyone stands up. Unprovoked, I remove her chair from behind her back, without … Continue reading My First Love

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot. Individuals might forgive, companies don't. To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. I forgive a lot, but I only trust once. If you break my trust, that's it. Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must … Continue reading Forgiving

I'm not lost. To be lost, you have to know where it is you're supposed to be. And I don't even know that. Lose weight? Try dieting. I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is 14 days. The first thing you lose on a diet is your humor. You might … Continue reading Are you Lost

There are days I cannot take part in life. The supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands. If you're having a bad day, remember that Ronald Wayne in 1976 sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Today it is worth over $58 billion. Patience is the calm acceptance that things … Continue reading Having A Bad Day

It worked.  "You sure?" to which the response is always, "Yeah damn right I'm sure". Half the time things work for me, I can't help but think I'm lucky it worked because I'd have looked really stupid if it didn't. And if it didn't work, the only excuse I'd have is that it worked in … Continue reading The Seven Magic Sentences