Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Wild animals are less wild and more human than many humans of this world. And that’s why you should never play poker with the worlds fastest animal because he’s a cheetah. Today I saw a woman talking to her cat. … Continue reading Like an Animal

Will it get better? Nope, it won’t. It’s funny how humans can wrap their minds around things and fit them into their version of reality. Your extremely delusional beliefs about your nonexistent greatness makes you an excellent candidate for immediate psychiatric intervention. No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as … Continue reading Delusions of Grandeur

If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. A really good one. I’m stuck between a rock and someone I want to hit with it. That person also by sheer coincidence happens to be the President of a country that shall-not-be-named but shall be shamed. I’m … Continue reading When things get Stuck

Before calling me, ask yourself…is this textable? The worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing. When I get a phone call from an unknown number, I answer by whispering, “It’s done but there’s blood everywhere, call Saul.” Working … Continue reading Calling

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit National debt. It scares me that I’m better at paying off debt than my country is. I keep telling them, if they add 2% stupidity tax, the National debt will be paid off in a matter of weeks. That being said, I look forward to paying all … Continue reading Repaying Debt