Watching me while a poop is a special kind of intimacy and a healthy bond that should exist between partners. Farting around each other is the key to spicing up your relationship. One whiff of her fart and you’re ready to redo your vows. Helps with communication too. I eat poop when no one is … Continue reading Taking a Dump

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. It took a lot of bribery and corruption to get me to speak. I was shook. I never want to do the same things twice. My life is so full of surprises nothing surprises me anymore. I don’t … Continue reading How to handle Surprises

I don’t like that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others. Nursing is not a career—it’s a post apocalyptic survival skill. If you can’t administer CPR at this age, of what good are you to society? The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway … Continue reading Surviving the Fittest

The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something. Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust you. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end … Continue reading Sense and Sensitivity

Corruption isn’t a natural disaster. I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Corruption is nature’s way of restoring our faith in democracy. You can call me the father of democracy, my actions have led to its rebirth. I’m going to give a new meaning to the phrase “wealth without enterprise” … Continue reading Fantastically Corrupt