A politician needs to foretell what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. The problem with political jokes is that they get elected. Every single election … Continue reading The lies Politicians Tell

What's that thing where your crush likes you back? Oh yes, your imagination! Having a crush is like having that little piece of rock stuck in their shoe and you stop walking and shake it out and you're pretty sure it's gone. But then like half an hour later, you feel it under your toe … Continue reading How to Handle a Crush

A smooth talker has learned to increase their options in dialogue, without understanding what they are talking about. Each level of this perk will increase your IN by one, for purposes of dialogue only. People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots. So many girls fall in love with the … Continue reading Smooth Talk

Sleep solves everything. Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia, I can't sleep because I have internet. People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Because if you had a baby, you'd know those little shits don't sleep peacefully. If your friend wakes up your sleeping baby, they aren't really … Continue reading Need For Sleep

Life is a party, you join in after it's started and leave before it's finished. Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and … Continue reading The Life of a Party