You've come into the world with nothing and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished. There's nothing funny about happy people. I don't know, you just look at a situation or a life, and you kind of … Continue reading The Nothingness of Nothing

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out. Actually, there are a few ways out but I'm keeping them a secret. Some of you have the attention span of a two-year-old and it is currently standing in the way between you and riches. For context, a two-year-old has an average … Continue reading How to Concentrate

There's no such thing as too much affection. If your partner complains about you choking them with too much love, that's not your partner.  You don't just stop loving someone. You either always will, or you never did in the first place. When someone yells Stop! I don't know whether it's in the name of love, … Continue reading Don’t Stop

I hate birthdays. I don't like the entire process of sneaky people coming and wishing. That one day you think you're special and everyone loves you. But the next day everyone starts acting a fool around you. Some don't even wait for it to be midnight before activating their folly. Birthdays are paradoxical, they are … Continue reading Another Birthday

As one who will readily throw himself into harm's way, you might want to sit down for this one. In the days when men were men and women were married by only men deserving of them lived a handsome young man called Gottfried. As I took care of my father's sheep as assigned by my … Continue reading My Nine Lives