A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch. The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian (me) all the stupidity. Being a lawyer is easy. It's flying like a bird, but you don't have wings.  Only lawyers and painters can turn white … Continue reading Lawyering Up

They say that dreams have meanings, so explain this one. After a day of hating on “happy” people celebrating Valentine’s Day(a pagan holiday any individual with a semblance of self respect and decorum should avoid), I fell into a deep disturbing sleep. I was out like a light.  Falling asleep in this realm, meant that … Continue reading The Secret in my Basement

Be kind when you can (you always can). There is nothing to be gained from attempting to empathize with someone who is neurologically incapable of returning the favor. Movies that encourage empathy are more effective than those that objectify problems. Compassion is not just sympathy, it’s empathy. A narcissist will use the phrase “get over … Continue reading Lacking Empathy

Lesson one. Only trust people who like big butts…they cannot lie. It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive. Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky. We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.  A bald spot is … Continue reading Web of Lies

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem but they really don’t know me. There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do. A good rule to remember about life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.  Being called weird is like being … Continue reading Perks of being Quirky