It worked.  "You sure?" to which the response is always, "Yeah damn right I'm sure". Half the time things work for me, I can't help but think I'm lucky it worked because I'd have looked really stupid if it didn't. And if it didn't work, the only excuse I'd have is that it worked in … Continue reading The Seven Magic Sentences

Everywhere in the world women live longer than men. Historically, men started smoking earlier and heavier than women. As a matter of knowledge, any effect of smoking on life expectancy shows in males first. Now, why did man ever feel the need to smoke a cigarette? What, or more appropriately, who was stressing him out … Continue reading Why Women Live Longer

Lie. A lot. Between us, we know the real you, and it ain't pretty. Tell lies that shock the devil himself. And whatever you do, do not be yourself. Remember that you and his parents don’t have to love each other. Tell one lie and run with it. So what you say you're related to … Continue reading Meeting His Parents

Violence is not funny. But you can't deny that sometimes, some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair. I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Violence might not be the answer, but it's an option. The examiner wouldn't have included it if they didn't think … Continue reading Necessary Violence

When I was a boy, I was told anybody could be President. Looking at who we have in office in my country and the other clown in the white house, I'm starting to believe it. I've always wanted to be President. Of the country, of the department of my school? It didn't matter, just put … Continue reading Mr President