When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. It took a lot of bribery and corruption to get me to speak. I was shook. I never want to do the same things twice. My life is so full of surprises nothing surprises me anymore. I don’t … Continue reading How to handle Surprises

I don’t like that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others. Nursing is not a career—it’s a post apocalyptic survival skill. If you can’t administer CPR at this age, of what good are you to society? The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway … Continue reading Surviving the Fittest

The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something. Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust you. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end … Continue reading Sense and Sensitivity

Corruption isn’t a natural disaster. I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Corruption is nature’s way of restoring our faith in democracy. You can call me the father of democracy, my actions have led to its rebirth. I’m going to give a new meaning to the phrase “wealth without enterprise” … Continue reading Fantastically Corrupt

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says. My wife doesn’t think I’m doing it right. You should only become a philanthropist if you’re passionate about it. Otherwise it will become a headache. When the prosthetic legs I ordered are taking too long to … Continue reading Dealing with a Headache