The right girl will make you want to do all the romantic things you said you'd never do. Like go for photo shoots and wear matching Pj's. You know, lame stuff. Before you marry her, first make her use a computer with slow internet. You'll see who she really is. If she gives you strength … Continue reading How You Know She’s The One

Adam and Eve had the right idea. If we continued to toe that line, we wouldn’t have an obesity problem. Without clothes there would be no fat people and this is a hill I’m willing to die on. It will also solve the big issue of consent. You don’t have to keep second guessing yourself. … Continue reading Naked Truth

There’s always some truth behind just kidding. Knowledge behind I don’t know. Emotion behind I don’t care, and pain behind it’s okay. So pay close attention to how people feel. It’s why I like to hang around mute people. They don’t say much. And that’s okay. Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the … Continue reading Dealing with Abuse

Fugazi, fugazi. It's a wazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust. Not real, just like your love life. Rudeness is a weak person's imitation of strength. If you're out on a date and she's rude to the waiter, there's your answer champ. It could be you soon. It would be much easier if people were … Continue reading Fugazi

Do you blow on your food when it's hot or do you just "hasafashafsas" until you can chew it? If you belong to the second group, you know what you are. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when … Continue reading Being a Teenager