Sarcasm With A Dash Of Snide Humor

~ Gottfried

I’ve found solace in snide humor, sarcasm has always been the added baggage. Discussions with people usually go like…

Person: Ebuka, this one you’re having your bath, are you going out?

Default reply: no oh! ( insert sarcastic reply)

It’s almost commonplace in your average Nigerian home to reply “obvious” questions with even more sarcastic rhetoric.

Initially, people found it offensive and refused to actively participate but new studies show that giving tongue in cheek replies “is the new cool”.

Parents too now participate (bless their hearts), they usually find a way to make it uncool eventually (As they do with everything, remember WhatsApp?, yeah me neither, they say it’s “Wazzap” now)

Me: mom, where should I keep it?

Her: Come and put it on my head

Me: ……(sigh)

These ladies and gents is why you should never teach them anything!

I remember being forced to observe “siesta” much to my chagrin, now sleep like a colleague would say “is for the rich”.

It’s shocking really how you go from “I don’t want to sleep” to “please five more minutes”.
Some of us can’t really imagine living the kind of life we once used to live and considered appropriate.

I mean you’ve seen your throwback pictures, we’d be so upset that “babes didn’t even like me or look my way”. My brother did you like yourself? There are levels to this thing.

Some sadly didn’t change much even though they swear they love themselves like that, thankfully my bible says that it is in fulfillment of the prophecy of the last days “2 Timothy 3: 1-2” (Congratulations you’ve opened your bible once this month/year* heaven might just be nearer your doorstep)

It’s commonplace these days for people who were outspoken in their infant years to fully withdraw to themselves as they approach teenage ( possibly as penance for being nuisances to themselves and the society by association)

Paussssseeeeee

If you’re disappointed with what you’ve so far read, be rest assured I am too. My writing career and stand up comedy career surely have something in common I guess.

On the other hand, if you thoroughly enjoyed it I think it’s high time you did your family a number and checked yourself into a mental health institution.

My apologies, mental health is now to be taken seriously as more Nigerians warm up to the idea of suicide.

The next person to you is your neighbor, now is the time to spread love and positivity. Be the change you want to see in others. (FYI, I am averse to motivation)

FYI means “For Your Information” and yes I absolutely couldn’t resist.

Till next time? (In Eminem’s voice* next time? There will be no next time!)

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

102 thoughts on “Sarcasm With A Dash Of Snide Humor”

  4. Put it on my head she says…. But when you try… That’s a whole other story. I think I missing the insider info on this… Kinda jealous though. 😁 I got a free re-entry pass to the ward in case you’re wondering.

    Liked by 3 people

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  5. The very first words my English Lit teacher wrote on the board was “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Use it on my class then be prepared to be treated like a twit”.
    He was a fantastic teacher….

    Liked by 2 people

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          1. All the vices rolled into one book. Back then I always wondered, even now, how good of a debate would Chaucer and Dante would have had on this. What a collaboration that would have been. Shame Dante died before Chaucer was born…

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I think genuises are spaced out per generation for us to appreciate their work properly. Shame about Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, being born in the same era!

            Liked by 1 person

          4. I caught my own buzz from watching an ungodly amount of Youtube compilations. And if you’re getting goose bumps from YT Comps, imagine what it’d be like to have seen them in person!

            Liked by 1 person

  6. I can’t laugh, not even with the slightest effort even I try. What’s wrong with me today😩…Maybe I am still stuck in “Coping With The Side Effects”
    Wish u a good weekend though.🌻

    Liked by 3 people

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  8. This is an interesting read. I can be sarcastic sometimes and my mum always finds a way to make it uncool. So I agree with you on that aspect of ‘never teach your parents anything’. I am glad more people in your country are regarding mental health and illness as a serious issue because it is and it deserves to be treated as such.

    Liked by 4 people

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