I'm not lost. To be lost, you have to know where it is you're supposed to be. And I don't even know that. Lose weight? Try dieting. I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is 14 days. The first thing you lose on a diet is your humor. You might … Continue reading Are You Lost?
Tag: relatable
How To Avoid Lending People Money
We've all been there really. Being asked for money and looking for a way out of the really uncomfortable spot. Because in all honesty, lending money might put your own current and/or future financial security at risk. Humans generally are insatiable and are ready to borrow you into penury. You owe it to yourself to … Continue reading How To Avoid Lending People Money
Having A Bad Day
There are days I cannot take part in life. The supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands. If you're having a bad day, remember that Ronald Wayne in 1976 sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Today it is worth over $58 billion. Patience is the calm acceptance that things … Continue reading Having A Bad Day
The Seven Magic Sentences
It worked. "You sure?" to which the response is always, "Yeah damn right I'm sure". Half the time things work for me, I can't help but think I'm lucky it worked because I'd have looked really stupid if it didn't. And if it didn't work, the only excuse I'd have is that it worked in … Continue reading The Seven Magic Sentences
Why Women Live Longer
Everywhere in the world women live longer than men. Historically, men started smoking earlier and heavier than women. As a matter of knowledge, any effect of smoking on life expectancy shows in males first. Now, why did man ever feel the need to smoke a cigarette? What, or more appropriately, who was stressing him out … Continue reading Why Women Live Longer
Meeting His Parents
Lie. A lot. Between us, we know the real you, and it ain't pretty. Tell lies that shock the devil himself. And whatever you do, do not be yourself. Remember that you and his parents don’t have to love each other. Tell one lie and run with it. So what you say you're related to … Continue reading Meeting His Parents
Necessary Violence
Violence is not funny. But you can't deny that sometimes, some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair. I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Violence might not be the answer, but it's an option. The examiner wouldn't have included it if they didn't think … Continue reading Necessary Violence
Mr President
When I was a boy, I was told anybody could be President. Looking at who we have in office in my country and the other clown in the white house, I'm starting to believe it. I've always wanted to be President. Of the country, of the department of my school? It didn't matter, just put … Continue reading Mr President
The Mirage Of Time Management
Tomorrow. Let me tell you about tomorrow. Tomorrow is a mythical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored. But I gotta shake this mentality off. I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow! The bad news is that time flies. The relatively good news is that you're the unlicensed … Continue reading The Mirage Of Time Management
Savage Love
Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there. When I first met her, I knew at that moment that I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind, so that there'd be room for her to stay. You see, a man in … Continue reading Savage Love
