Basically we get confused a bit about what retail is. It is really just buying things, putting them on the floor and them. I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they’re like ‘Hey what are you doing here?’ I tell them, ‘You know…hunting wild beasts.’
Late repliers are actually the worst. You tell someone that you’re upset at 3:58 and they ask what’s wrong by 7:02. It’s okay now bro, I already shot the person that was pissing me off, ambulance is here, I’m in handcuffs, definitely going to serve life, leave me alone.
The trouble with improv is that it is often about being funny in the moment without any real consideration for the bigger picture. There’s nothing more funny than going to a comedy club and yelling out really difficult prompts to the comic like 9/11, Hitler and Jewish bankers.
Learn as much as you can while you are young, life becomes too busy later. It takes thirty seven muscles to make a frown and seventeen muscles to smile. It’s why I insist on doing nothing with my face. You’re not getting even a wink out of me on a bad day.
Relax, it’s the weekend. just don’t blink or it will all be over. When your boss asks you to do something you’ve never done before, say yes with certainty and get to googling. Two mysterious people live in my house. Somebody and Nobody.
Somebody did it and Nobody knows who.
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