Lies We Tell Ourselves

You can fool yourself, you know. You’d think it’s impossible, but it turns out it’s the easiest thing of all. If you lie to yourself, you’re being delusional. If you cannot accept the truth and think to yourself otherwise, you’re in self-denial. Now look, if you repeat a lie you said to yourself to someone else, you’re a pathological liar. You know you are lying to yourself when you deny your passions and fail to pursue what excites you, regardless of what it is. This is a denial of your highest being and your truest self.

Five more minutes. You lie to yourself when you neglect to take care of yourself. You know you could have slept a lot earlier and all this wouldn’t be happening. But you chose binge-watching la casa de papel over precious, precious sleep. Now, look at you! In trying to catch five more minutes’ sleep, you have afforded the devil the opportunity to work his magic. God loves us, but the devil takes an interest. And sometimes, a deal with the devil is better than no deal at all.

They’ll pay the money they’re owing me. Well, first of all, I would like to say sorry to you. That money isn’t coming. If your company has owed you for three months straight, I think it’s time to cut your losses and sit your arse at home. If you really believe that a corporation will pay all the arrears owed in one month, then you must also believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. If you’ve owed a sibling thrice, you go into the fourth debt with a renewed confidence. Odeshi

The secret to financial freedom is to increase my savings while tracking my spending. It all starts at the beginning of the month. Just after salary week. You throw wads of cash into your piggy bank.

Doing your best to keep the same energy.

At this point, you’re barely hanging on.

You’ve endured all month. All that’s left is a trigger for you to start spending! After all, you’ve earned it.

Back to square one. You can’t be saving peanuts and expect to be financially free. That’s wishful thinking. The answer is to increase your income! Anything else is Shalaye

I’m not afraid of the dark. But as soon as the lights go out, you start running. How convenient. The thing about darkness is that people don’t wait around to make sense of it. While at the university, the school made a law that boys and girls weren’t allowed to hang out together late at night. I knew there would be defaulters as the case is with any law.

So I decided to do something mischievous. On this day, I took my 1000W LED flashlight and went to the known hotspots. Before long I found a mark. I illuminated the unsuspecting couple going at it in the darkness and shouted:

Hey you, what are you doing there?

Without warning, they both took off, and I chased after them. They had covered quite some distance after which I stopped chasing and burst into fits of laughter. Best day ever!

I’m not scared of dying. I too am guilty of this one. I always think I’m prepared for the worst until the worst happens. This one time I’m in church and we’re singing a hymn that says…

Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you

As we raise our voices to render the chorus, we suddenly hear a loud bang! Half the ushers flee from the premises and the instrumentalists stop playing! As I watch on, scared, I catch the pastor trying to will his legs to stop shaking. If I was the pastor, it’d take an additional twenty members to beg me out of the hole I’d have dug and hidden in.

My clothes aren’t all that dirty. You tell yourself this as you continue to pile up items of clothing on that chair that represents clothes that are…

dirty but can still be worn one last time

You keep up with this act till you look into your underwear box and you’re down to your last boxer. Congratulations, you played yourself. By the time you bring yourself to wash all those clothes, the pile alone can scare a blind man. Rather than wait for them to pile up, create a schedule so you don’t end up going to work naked on a Thursday!

I’m not fat. If anything, I just put on some weight and it fits me. Here’s how you know you’re betraying yourself. If you ever pass by a mirror and involuntarily suck in your tummy, then I’ve got news for you. It’s time to hit the gym! Also, I must say, going to the gym wouldn’t lead to drastic weight loss. You go to the gym to build muscle, not lose weight. If you really, really want to lose some weight. Go to a mental health facility and shout…

I’m not mad Oh!

Be a visionary. The visionary lies to themself, the liar, only to others. I lie to myself all the time. Sometimes as a coping mechanism, other times to delay thinking about the inevitable. The only issue with lying to myself is, I never believe me. Reality denied always comes back to haunt. There are two ways to be fooled, people! One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true. In all, the best lies about me…

…are the ones I told

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.