Beauty Sleep

~ Gottfried

A well-spent day brings happy sleep. No denying, sleep in itself is important. A decent night’s rest can make a positive impact on your entire day, so it’s no surprise really that you’re more productive after a healthy dose. It’s a bit surprising to me though, that those who get a full hours night rest, still somehow find the time to nap in the afternoon. Where do you unlock that batch of sleep from?

Sleep is for the rich. You know you’re rich when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. Steve Harvey made some now-famous quotes about sleep.

“Rich people don’t sleep eight hours a day! That’s a third of your life. It ain’t but 24 hours in a day! You cannot be asleep eight hours a day!”

I think he was spittin’ some major bull shit. If I was heir to a multi-billionaire(in dollars), best believe my days starts whenever I wake up.

Out like a light. I sometimes struggle with trying not to sleep, especially if I have reason to be up. But if I’m not getting any help, it becomes all the more difficult. If you’re texting someone late at night, fast replies are simply a must. Case in point. I once met this gorgeous lady at a function and we exchanged contacts.

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I checked my network and made sure the message delivered.

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A WHOLE minute later!

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Too late! 

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Between us, you know it was not even my fault. Sixty seconds is a long time at night.

Sleepy eyes. You ever saw someone that looked like they’re half asleep all the time? Or the creepy group, who, while supposedly asleep, don’t fully close their eyes. So as you’re sneaking to their cupboard to steal from their provisions, it looks like they’re watching you the whole time.

Sleeping beauty. In today’s society, a story like ‘Sleeping Beauty’ will be met with so much criticism. What do you mean that only a man worthy of her love could break the curse? Shying away from that, how do you kiss someone WITHOUT their consent? Isn’t that harassment of some sort? Feminists in the house, please walk me through this.

Good parenting. The wife just had a baby and the incessant crying was starting to take a toll on our household. Just when we are about to get back-to-back hours of sleep, this happens!

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She wins the argument(don’t they always). I go to do the business.

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But what am I supposed to do?

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She left me with no choice.

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Bizarre sleeping positions. Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. You see some people with sleeping positions that oftentimes raise an eyebrow. I can understand babies who sleep with their bum raised in the air, but sis, aren’t you a bit too old for that?

This one time in school I caught a boy sleeping in the most unlikely place. He was in the shower. And yes! Water was running down his face as he slept. I wonder what demons he was battling. And if you think that’s bad, let me tell you about another boy who while sleeping, fell from the top bunk, flat on the ground and continued sleeping.

For the doubters who find it difficult to believe the tale, here’s an extra twist. He sustained a cut on his head and was indeed bleeding. In hindsight, I am inclined to believe he must have passed out. But how do you explain the fact that he was SNORING?

I leave you with a few nuggets of wisdom. Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. If you want a head start on tomorrow, eat breakfast tonight – that way you can sleep until lunchtime. Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I’m reborn. In all, here’s a keen piece of advice. Your future depends on your dreams…

so go to sleep

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

446 thoughts on “Beauty Sleep”

  1. You’ve got the feminist interpretation of Sleeping Beauty right. It’s not okay to kiss someone without their consent. And I’m not a feminist, but I agree with that. Sleeping Beauty is rapey AF

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

          5. And you did not with golf?
            OK, lets go back to a foot massaging again, even when I am asleep someone better keep the massage up.

            Liked by 1 person

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