Born Again

At birth , rather than be addressed as only a day old, why aren’t you nine months old? Or ten depending on how long your mother was pregnant for. Doesn’t this make much more sense or is it because we’re just too lazy to calculate the days? Instead of birth-day, we’ll have conception day.

Of course I know how old I am! Well, I know when I was born, I just don’t like doing the math, so I usually just ballpark it. Some people were born with a nut loose upstairs. If you feel like you were born to be crazy, embrace it. Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out.

I strive for two things when I paint a picture of the relationships I want to keep: simplicity and clarity. Great relationships are born into those two things. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman without a brain is an absolutely chaotic combination.

You are born free, then you are taxed to death. You only live once, but if you do it right, one is enough. Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some. Which is why you should eat and be merry. Man is born to eat.

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. The ancestors gave me all this outdoor energy only to punish me with an overthinking and parental mindset. If only I can stop my mind from thinking about the future, I’ll be much more fun at this party. In fact, I’ll be the most fun person!

We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, “I wish I hadn’t been born?” Once you’re born, you’ll have to die, now is that funny or sad? Let me let you in on a like secret. You were born at home, but when your mother saw you…

She went to the hospital

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