A Cry for Help

~ Gottfried

Every obnoxious act is a cry for help. The thing about a cry for help is that someone needs to be around to hear it. You can only cry for help if you believe there is help to cry for. On a bad day, you could get a “helping hand” on your cheek asking you to shut up!

I’m the kind of person who keeps calm under pressure and freaks out when everything is okay. You just know something borderline evil is on the horizon. The last time I had three good days in a row, I bought a gun. I’m not waiting for the evil day, I’m walking towards it.

Sometimes the loudest cry for help is complete and utter silence. It’s no wonder men speak less and less words as they get older. “He is a man of a few words”. No, that man is literally dying! Some men have checked out of speaking altogether. With what their eyes have seen, nodding is enough.

No matter how big you get, it’s still okay to cry from time to time to remind yourself that you’re human. Everyone has a right to their own tears. “Man up, Don’t cry”. Nope, real men cry real acidic tears. Tears that handkerchiefs can’t absorb.

Those who don’t weep, do not see. I would take antidepressants but I’m too worried my unbearable miserable personality will change. If you want to cry, use a napkin, not your WhatsApp status. What do you even mean by “Granny it shouldn’t have been you <Insert crying emoji>.” Who should it have been? Me?

When your boss asks you to do something you’ve never done before, say yes with certainty and get to googling. Cry to google. I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that animals in the wild eat their young so they better get their shit together. Same goes for you. Fix up!

Or else

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

72 thoughts on “A Cry for Help”

  4. I responded to this post already, but it popped up on my screen again. So I have to tell you again, Gottfried, how grateful I am that my father (the only son with 4 sisters) was never told “real men don’t cry.” Instead he must have heard along the way somewhere, “Real men are not afraid to cry real acidic tears.” He was a “sentimental slob“ and I loved him for it!!! 👍🏽❤️😭

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