No Vacancy

~ Gottfried

A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy for that role. I find it bizarre when former mistresses now wives complain about the entrance of a new mistress. This is literally how you got your promotion, stop being a hater.

My career plans were much more exciting when I was five. You’re only allowed to be busy if you’re planning towards retirement. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. I don’t even know what that means but it sounded fancy so I typed it out.

I like work, it fascinates me; I sit and look at it for hours. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Nothing sends your heart spiraling like going on a job site and seeing your organization advertising the role you currently occupy. You just know you’re getting a promotion.

Sometimes the best part of the job is a chair that swivels. Don’t pick a job with great vacation time. Pick one that doesn’t need escaping from. If only you could see how small a vacancy your death will leave, you would think less of the place you occupy in your lifetime.

Ensure that your head is empty at all times. It’s what helps you be at peace. Don’t let negative people rent a space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out! Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. The only thing that has ever sat its way to success is a hen.

Vacancy in my heart for a true friend. Eligible candidates must be loving, caring and kind. Your duty is to love me, even until death. Experience is not required. Your salary will be my never ending love. You must be willing to start immediately. Are you interested?

Send in your résumé

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

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