Calling

~ Gottfried

Before calling me, ask yourself…is this textable? The worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing. When I get a phone call from an unknown number, I answer by whispering, “It’s done but there’s blood everywhere, call Saul.”

Working at this call center brings joy to my day, said absolutely no one ever. Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. I put my phone on airplane mode but it’s not flying. My phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I’m still at work. If you laughed at that joke you need a hobby.

Silly phone, that wasn’t a “missed” call. That was a “I looked and saw who it was so I chose to ignore” call. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter, people the opposite. Friendship goes beyond phone calls. It’s being there when someone is feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of someone who does. Never deleting my bro’s number, even if he dies.

My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships. If nothing is going well, call your grandma. People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart. I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Sometimes, the most important conversations come from unexpected phone calls. How else would I know that my Math and English teacher are having a baby together? “I’ll call you later”. Just move on with your life mate. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me…

I’ll laugh at you.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

50 thoughts on “Calling”

  2. I still don’t understand this texting thing. In fact, I don’t understand the cell phone thing. I guess this statement shows my age. I am older than dirt and cell phone baloney. I remember when the phone was attached to the wall in the kitchen and you had to travel to answer it.

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