Calling

~ Gottfried

Before calling me, ask yourself…is this textable? The worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing. When I get a phone call from an unknown number, I answer by whispering, “It’s done but there’s blood everywhere, call Saul.”

Working at this call center brings joy to my day, said absolutely no one ever. Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. I put my phone on airplane mode but it’s not flying. My phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I’m still at work. If you laughed at that joke you need a hobby.

Silly phone, that wasn’t a “missed” call. That was a “I looked and saw who it was so I chose to ignore” call. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter, people the opposite. Friendship goes beyond phone calls. It’s being there when someone is feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of someone who does. Never deleting my bro’s number, even if he dies.

My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships. If nothing is going well, call your grandma. People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart. I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Sometimes, the most important conversations come from unexpected phone calls. How else would I know that my Math and English teacher are having a baby together? “I’ll call you later”. Just move on with your life mate. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me…

I’ll laugh at you.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

50 thoughts on “Calling”

  1. “Nothing to see here – yet
    When they Tweet Their Tweets
    Will Show Up Here” Oh Dear Lord He

    Wants to Go to Mars

    Yet Elon Calls and

    Lies About the

    Next X-Tweet
    Never Being
    Seen on the
    Once Woking
    Embedded Widgets Hehe

    It’s Like that Handy Man Neighbor
    Who Never Paints Their Home as They
    Are Just too Tired to Lift Anything Yet

    A 12 oz Can When They Get Home Yep
    12 oz Curls Out of the 24 Pack Case Each Night

    Mr Gottfried Yet i Digress i’ve Already Stamped

    it on my Online Tombstone Yep Already Beefing Up my

    Obituary As What Good Is It Gonna Do me When Gone

    HAha True it Already Says i’ll Be Back As i Return Always

    Now To Sheer Joy and Chagrin of Others Indeed Hehe True

    Hearing the

    Call Wherever

    i Go And Always
    Returning i’m Almost
    Positive i’m Not Hearing

    Voices As Hey This is an
    Avatar World of Texts Where
    God Truly is Word Whatever We Do With SMiLes..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Hehe Ever Since Elon
        Took Charge i Get
        “Mom’s Gone Wild”
        E-Male Mass Mailing
        Advertisements
        Based On
        my Still
        Advancing Age
        For The Twitter
        X X X HAha
        Indeed Really
        It’s Catfishing
        Hilarious No

        Bites
        From me🙏
        Happy Weekend
        In Nigeria With
        Free SMiles

        Fully
        Clothed⚽️
        For Now at Least🐺

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  2. Sometimes phone calls solve most of problems especially in a tight situation a good conversation from a reliable person brings peace of mind always answer your calls from a knowm person

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  4. You are the saviour of the day. Thanks for making me smile alotalot. Having people over to stare at their phones is now the new norm. One can expect a text from one asking: do you believe all that rubbish he’s speaking? Or I want a dress like hers. Ha ha – make me coffee while you are in the kitchen.

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  5. Pingback: Calling – † N A N O PAGE

  9. If your dog is swept out to sea, don’t try and rescue it. If your phone is swept away by the ocean it still has a chance to survive so dive in and get it. My grandson dropped his phone in the sea, fortunately the shallows. His father’s first aid advice was to immediately rinse it under the fresh water standpipe on the promenade, sand and salt are the enemies of phones apparently… it worked!

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