Odour Yewu

I smell the smell of something that smells smelly. I once bought a ‘fragrant’ air freshener, but it smelled worse than the original odour. I swear they just filled it with disappointment. An old man’s mouth produces a bad smell but the words that come out of it are sweet. Words like, I have left you my entire estate since I have no offspring.

If you can smell yourself, others have been able to for a while. Bad smells have a way of creeping up on you, just like your responsibilities on a Monday morning. Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it twice daily at the minimum.

Bad breath. We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I’m bored. Let’s go brush our teeth. Or, I’ve got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth for me. They say smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. Well, I’ll never forget that horrible odour that came from my co-worker’s gym bag.

Thanks for keeping me awake with your body odour. I could have missed my stop if it wasn’t for you. Nothing makes a room feel smaller than a bad smell. It’s like the stench is taking up all the available space. Even though the bus wasn’t full, you were everywhere! You know it’s a terrible day when even the air freshener outside smells like socks.

Body odour is the window to the soul. Some people have a bad attitude, others have a bad smell, and both are equally unpleasant. If bad smells were considered an Olympic sport, I think my neighbour’s apartment would take the gold. I accidentally sprayed an air freshener on myself thinking it was perfume, now I smell like lavender-covered desperation.

What if I told you that body odour is not your strong point? My sense of smell must be amazing. I can detect bad breath from three cubicles away. There are other people on the internet. It’s awesome. You get all the benefits of ‘other people’ without the body odour and the eye contact. I could also cut down on the minty candy I carry around. What did the one eye say to the other?

Between us something smells

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved