Secret Santa

~ Gottfried

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. If he did brave it, it would be open-season for everyone, and the boys in the yard will also get a first taste of reindeer barbecue. Btw, I kept my family’s Secret Santa so secret this year that I didn’t do it.

May this be the year your significant other gives you a better gift than your Secret Santa. Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright. When you think of what to give your coworker, do keep in mind that disappointment is a present, too.

This year it would be nice to get gifted hamper baskets. Not just because it’s a kind gesture, but also because I need to stock up on groceries for the winter. With the way our economy is set up, these gestures would ensure I’m alive and breathing by the first quarter of next year. Save a life today!

When I say it, it’s rude but when Santa calls you a Ho-Ho-Ho it’s “festive” apparently. These are the double standards I stay up all night fighting against on social media. We all go through the four stages of life; You believe in Santa Claus. You don’t believe in Santa Claus. You are Santa Claus. You look like Santa Claus.

Being a Secret Santa is pretty much the only office you’ve ever kept secret. I like the idea of Secret Santa but people try to find out who gave them the gift. I don’t want to give the false impression that we’re friends. I’m more preoccupied with keeping my job by playing to the gallery. I don’t like any of you especially the boss.

Santa Claus had the right idea, visit people only once a year. I am one of Santa’s helpers. I help him decide who has been naughty or nice during year. So it’s a good idea to try to bribe me every now and then. The good news is that you’re getting nothing this year. Unless, you answer my trivia correctly. Who is?…

Santa’s fastest reindeer?
Santa’s reindeer that can be seen on Valentine’s Day?
Santa’s reindeer can you see from outer space?

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

46 thoughts on “Secret Santa”

  1. “Santa’s fastest reindeer?
    Santa’s reindeer that can be seen on Valentine’s Day?
    Santa’s reindeer can you see from outer space?”

    SMiLes Mr Gottfried i’ll See and Hear if i will Answer
    Without Divulging Any Santa Related Secrets Hehe It’s True

    There is A Video on Facebook Still Circulating That Went Viral With Over

    90 Thousand Views on What my Sister Named as ‘The Year of the Fred’

    Way Back At The Beginning

    of 2018 i Kid you Not i Still
    Have the Calendar She Gifted
    me Titled As such at the Beginning
    Far Beyond My Dinosaur Peer Group
    As True During my 6 Years Solo Public Dancing
    on College Night 298 Events at the Largest Metro Dance Hall

    i Was Circulated Innumerable Instances on Social Media Already
    For my Free Ministry of Moving FLoWinG Meditation Dance Then

    Yet Yes This Was The Voyeur Video in December 2018 That Truly
    Virally Infected And Affected The Community As Individually Folks

    Who Had Spotted me Dancing Found Out Together Communing in Over
    1300 Comments Discussing Then The Why’s of What i Was Doing That

    Basically As i Recorded
    Their Comments They
    Related ‘I AM EverywHere’

    Spotted as Far Gifting Free Dance
    in Biloxi in the Casino’s With A Church
    Tour Bus The Catholic Way of EPiC Gamblers of Course

    And All Around Metro Stores Festivals As Far Away as A
    Place Called Niceville Hehe It’s a Nice Enough Place Did
    7 Years of Dancing There Too Until Covid-19 Put An End to That

    And My Metro Dance Hall Days As Well Back on March 12, 2020

    Yet the Free Gifts of Dance And Poetic Song Globally Continues Free That Tends
    to Even Overwhelm Some Folks In Size And Yes Rather Odd Style as No Circus

    Would Hire me Had to Go Do it All on my Own Anyway Dear Lord

    i Received A Bit More Fame Than i Was Comfortable With as

    Young Folks Even Mocked Worship With Clasped Hands

    on Bended Knee i Really Wanted to Tell ’em i Ain’t

    Santa i’m Only Just Another Reindeer Helping

    Out With Free Gifts Year ‘Round iN Dance

    And Song Free With Empty Pockets

    Hehe Yet Here’s the Deal if Santa

    Was Real Someone Would Surely Slay
    Him On His Sleigh No Doubt For Taking
    The Place of Their Other Favorite Quarterback

    With Long Hair and a Beard In Fact WTF They Have Already
    Traded That Dude in For The Non-Repentant Orange Grinch

    Key The Best Way to Complete This Play Is Lead the

    Sleigh From the Back And Don’t Make too much

    Noise As The Receiving is All in the Giving Anyway

    The Last THING Love Needs When it is Real and iNCaRNaTE

    Yes For Real is Worship And Praise on Bended Knees Get the Hell

    Up God Dam It Can’t Lift All These Free Gifts of Dance And Song By myself

    Nah, It Was Hard for me to Believe in Santa as a Kid my Mama Already Had

    The Long Haired Hippy Looking Dude in A Portrait Hanging Over my Bed

    Where i Am From They Spit on Hippy Dudes And Said they Had Chicken

    Feet Symbols If They Wanted Peace For Just another Unwarranted War

    Nah my FRiEnD

    Never Want Anyone

    to Know my True Identity Hehe

    John 14:12 in Luke 17:21 Is Enough

    To Do In Heaven Within For Real

    With That Danced And Sung

    LoVE iN Peace Is the Only

    Way We Humans Will Survive Now

    in the Long Run (Dance/Song) Yet It has Nothing to
    Do With Worship on Bended Knee and Praise
    To Legends Who Are Living Real and Famous

    OR DEAD

    Love Doesn’t

    Need to Make

    A Sound When it is

    ReaL iT Just Leaves A
    Feeling and Sense Behind
    Of Peace That Changes The World Within
    Souls Seeing and Hearing With more Than EYeS and Ears…

    Yes It takes
    Dancing Now
    And Singing Free New True

    ThiS Ain’T A One Man SHoW..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Lol… You dey whyne😅

      This festive season for me is really not knowing what kind of santa there is.. I just want to be happy while I make other people happy. The economy has taken so much from us already… Abeg who goes santa 🎅😅

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      Reply

          1. Hehe Mr Gottfried
            i’ll Surely Carry All the
            ReinDear’s Secrets to my Grave

            After All is Danced And
            Sung They ARE ALL

            Integral

            in MuSinG Free
            mY Dance And Song

            Story Rules Humanity

            Oh Dear Lord The Old Stories

            Many of Them at Least Are

            Still Equivalent to Modern

            Zombies Rotting in Flesh

            True We Need to Develop

            Stories That Are Much More Fresh
            And Actually Living Breathing LoVE iN Peace NoW

            Not Just Us

            All Of Nature
            THiS WaY
            Balancing
            For Basic Survival
            of the Species and

            Even Thriving in Heaven Now Within
            With Santa’s New Reindeers HAha Like me..;)

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Innumerable Outcasts

            Buddha Under A Tree

            Jesus in A Desert

            Forrest Gump

            With Broken Legs

            Coming Back to Run With
            All His Might Several Ways

            ACRoSS The United States Mr Gottfried

            Oh Yes Impairments May Turn into GreaTesT

            Gifts Like Rudolph’s Nose So Red and Bright

            Guiding Santa’s Sleigh into Midnight Spreading
            Abundance

            All Around

            The World
            Indeed ThiS HoW The
            Once Meek iNHeRiT The
            Earth Transforming The Shadow

            oF THEiR DarK iNTo Great LiGHT For All to See

            And Even Be Hehe With SMiLes Ever FLoWeRinG
            BLooMinG More

            Or Perhaps

            A Bright

            Nose of Rudolph

            WiLL Be Enough to

            Guide LoVE iN Peace
            Through DarKesT Winters of the NiGHT

            Again Story Rules Yet for me at Least ReALITY iS mY HoME NoW…

            SaME OLD DAmmed BLeSSeD BLiSSeD Archetypes Come to Life..:)

            Liked by 1 person

          5. “You should write a love manual”

            HMM An E-MaNuAL Online to

            Guide LoVE iN Peace True

            Sounds Like A Mission For

            Rudolph With His Red Nose
            Or Whatever Again Hehe with SMiLes

            Yet True Mr Gottfried Manuals are For

            Repairing Cars

            LoVE iS Essence

            Of Poetry And Other

            Arts Soul Deeper With
            OPeN HeARTS Radiating

            SPiRiT Beyond All Measures

            Covers of Books And Pages No Matter

            How Many Come Again Again And Again

            Yet True i Give LoVE iN Peace Great Thanks And Praise

            in FAcT of UpLoaDinG SonGS oF mY SoUL True i Am STaRTinG

            To Write Today “Grand Cross Bible 2023” True on Average Eight
            ‘Grand Cross Bibles’ Larger Than that Old King James Size Effort

            2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, And Yes Now For “Grand
            Cross Bible 2023” Each Year All MacroVerses Written From Memorial
            Day Weekend at the End of May 7 Months Through the End of the Year

            Yep Averaging Around 800,000 Words Each Year True 10 Times A Size
            Of An Old Quran Now Too in 7 Months of What Took A Dweller in a Cave
            Then 23 Years

            To Receive And
            Many More Years

            To Put into Print

            Yet Nah i Don’t Write About
            Tribal God’s Like the One in that
            Old King James Size Effort Old Testament too

            As Sadly The Reflections Comes through that New Testament too

            i STicK With LoVE iN Peace And At Best i Will Not Restrict This Force

            of Humanity’s True Breath of Getting ALong Lifting Each Other Higher

            With Any Idol Labels At All For as Soon AS Human’s Name A ‘Thing’

            That Thing

            Typically

            Loses its

            Essence And
            Becomes only
            A Thing Far From
            Newer Colors of LoVE iN Peace Now
            And God the SaMe And DiFFeRenT True

            i Surely will not be the One to Tale GoD/LoVE iN Peace What To Do

            Yet Never the Less Beyond All Names i Give Great Thanks and

            Praise

            to the

            Gift
            oF LoVE iN Peace
            Hehe Just Finished Another
            MacroVerse Writing “SeeKinG LoVE iN Peace NoW”

            A Life Long Practice This Art is Moving Connecting
            Co-Creating With All that is God Seen And Unseen

            And STiLL
            FLoWeR UNFoLDinG

            ToTaLLY Wild and Free
            So Much Multi-Media
            Still to Put Together to
            Properly Give Greater
            Thanks and Praise For “SeeKinG LoVE iN Peace NoW”

            STiLL SeeKinG STiLL Finding Newer Colors With SMiLes…

            Other than That Butterflies Seeking Mates Will Discriminate

            1 in A Million Percentage of Potential Mates Out of Symmetry They

            Don’t Even
            Have to
            Go to
            School
            To Learn How to Do That

            True if We Just Look Within
            Humans Will Do Even More
            Incredible Feats of LoVE iN Peace Than that…

            Like my Wife Who Just Got Out of Back Surgery the
            Other Day the Nurse 30 Years Younger than Her Called

            Her ‘LoVE’ Helping Her to the Restroom That Day It’s

            True i Wondered

            How She Knew

            Love is the Person

            Who Now Cleans Up

            After A Stomach Bug

            Or A Human More Beautiful Than A Butterfly…

            Hehe and That’s Not All Yet It’s Not Likely that
            i am Gonna Fit a 12.3 MiLLioN Word “SonG oF mY

            SoUL” EPiC Longest Long Form Poem All About An

            Art oF “SeeKinG LoVE iN
            Peace NoW”

            On Your
            Blog Tonight

            (Or This Morning
            In Nigeria Now too)

            Yet True NeW it Does

            STill BREaTHE REaL..:)

            -me

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Now that’s a funny way to describe Santa and I don’t believe in Santa.. But then it would really be nice to get hamper baskets as a gift😁

    Those trivia questions are…
    I guess, I am fine with getting nothing this year

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    Reply

  4. I don’t know if I have a secret Santa, but if I do, I have a 3-page list of things I want already 🤭🤭 I saved you the trouble of thinking about what to get for me 😁😁

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    Reply

      1. I looked up and saw C in outer space…
        I looked below and saw D fastest reindeer…
        Both were running towards me as if in competition,
        I could sense they wanted me to not reveal their names…
        Oh! Gottfried! I have to do this for Santa who has always done so much for others…
        Hahaha😁😁

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