Celebrating Motherhood

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. A mother is a person who does the work of many. For free. Once you’re a mom, you’re already a mom. It’s like riding a bike, you don’t forget. Happy Mother’s Day to the iPad that is raising your child.

Motherhood is so stressful, so we create about four days a year to celebrate it. Honestly there’s some fraud going on with the amount of women holidays. There’s Mother’s Day, women’s day, girl-child day, wife’s day, and girlfriends day. They even created a day to eliminate violence against themselves.

Behind every mom is a basket of dirty laundry. It’s not easy being a mother, if it were easy fathers would do it. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Did you know that if you feed them, they grow? If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? Mothers have the most difficult job in the world. A job so difficult you can do it with your pajamas. A mother is a person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge. Is she there with you? No. Do you 100% trust her judgement over your own? Yes.

Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother. I mean we’d all have appreciated a manual better, it’s less overbearing but we’ll take what we can. To this day I’m curious to find out what happens when she finishes counting to three. Working mothers are guinea pigs in the scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.

Motherhood. Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine. Truth is, there’s no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one. Happy Mother’s Day to someone who did a great job raising her children and her husband. Give your mother a nice bottle of wine for Mother’s Day. After all…

you are the reason she drinks

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