True Crime

If caring is a crime, I’m innocent. If it’s a crime to be cute, then yes I’m a criminal. Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go. Now accepting applications for partner in crime. Must be fluent in smart-ass, sarcasm and adult language. Questionable morals and nudity may be required. A lack of home training is a plus.

A criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. Do you assume all trash bags on the side of the road are body parts discarded by a serial killer or are you normal? I enjoy spending time with Serial Killers. Relax, it’s just a podcast. Never mistake silence for weakness, no one plans a murder out loud. Wouldn’t it be a perfect crime if I stole your heart and you stole mine?

I was going to kill the sweetest, smartest and most beautiful person on earth and then I thought again, suicide is a crime. No crime has been without motive. Crime is not the problem of the victim, the victim didn’t create the crime. All crime is a kind of disease and should be treated as such. Punishment is not for revenge, but to lessen crime and reform the criminal.

If you’re a fan of crime thriller genre, these days the newspaper and news channels are the best option. When exposing a crime is treated as committing a crime, you are ruled by criminals. The most funny thing I’ve heard, a culprit explaining the meaning of crime to a victim. Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. One of the biggest lies in the world is that crime doesn’t pay. Of course, crime pays. Being a detective is like playing hide and seek with criminals, except they never want to be found. Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. In Marriage, sometimes you’re soul mates, other times you’re cell mates.

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. After watching copious amounts of crime dramas, I’ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only kill women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. What do you call an investigator who solves crimes by accident?

Sheer Luck Holmes.

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