Fugazi, fugazi. It's a wazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust. Not real, just like your love life. Rudeness is a weak person's imitation of strength. If you're out on a date and she's rude to the waiter, there's your answer champ. It could be you soon. It would be much easier if people were … Continue reading Fugazi

Do you blow on your food when it's hot or do you just "hasafashafsas" until you can chew it? If you belong to the second group, you know what you are. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when … Continue reading Being a Teenager

Being sick is just your body's way of saying you're too awesome, and you need to slow down, so everyone can catch up. Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left? Instead of good and bad. Ah, good times eh! I'm so offended when my body decides to be sick. Like … Continue reading Sick Leave

I miss the old days when men were men, and were married to women deserving of them. Men went from commanding armies and destroying civilizations to "I slept on the couch because my wife was angry with me." In their own house! Pathetic to say the least. If she says she’s taken, it’s probably for … Continue reading What Happened To Men

Why I left my last job? The company shifted the office and didn't tell me where it was. Where I see myself in five years? I'd say my biggest weakness is listening. What I have planned for the future? To eat lunch. Long-term plans? Well, to have dinner. What do I make at my current … Continue reading The Interview