Sick Leave

Being sick is just your body’s way of saying you’re too awesome, and you need to slow down, so everyone can catch up. Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left? Instead of good and bad. Ah, good times eh!

I’m so offended when my body decides to be sick. Like I gave you an orange last week. How dare you? I feel bad for the flu though. Especially since it has to spend time in my body. Health is really not valued until sickness comes.

Being sick can seem like all fun and games until you no longer live with your mom. Who else would sit there and watch you suffer? Being sick as a mom gives you a glimpse into how your family would survive without you. Listen to me, they will not make it.

I am sick, not stupid or mentally disabled. I’m not crazy. It’s not stress, it’s not in my head. I’m not causing this myself, I’m not making it up. I’m learning about myself every day. How well I deal with sickness. I can still do things for myself, like give you a whack on the head.

I like my independence but sometimes I need your help. Don’t take that as a weakness, or that I am giving up. I’m trying the best I can. We all need a little boost from time to time, lend a hand. You never know how much it could mean. I’m not ignoring you, I’m actually focused on trying not to die.

Every morning before getting out of bed, I calculate how much sick leave I still have left. I’m thinking of taking a sick day because I’m sick of people. Have you ever just gotten to the office, taken a look at your colleagues and feel sick in the stomach? Yeah me too! I’ve used up all my sick days so I’m calling in dead.

I have that feeling of being sick, but I’m not really sick. I just feel like I’d rather lay in bed all day and be unproductive for a change. First, the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me. When I die, I want my last words to be “I left millions of dollars under the…”

**gives up the ghost**

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