The Beautiful Game

Football, a game where men chase after balls…pause. It’s like watching a bunch of overgrown kids play tag, except with confusing rules and no nap breaks. The gag is that they are indeed still kids, only largely more determined. And every now and then? there’s an overwhelming urge to snap someone’s leg in half. For the love of the game.

How deep is your loyalty? Two things men don’t change; their barber and the club they support. You’ve got your die-hard fans decked out in face paint and foam fingers, ready to defend their team’s honor like it’s a matter of national security. Meanwhile, the players are out there strolling around and barely breaking a sweat.

What went wrong? The post-game interviews are absolute box office. Before the media trained era, you had to sit there and watch your favorite player attempt to string together coherent sentences in a bid to explain how he missed a completely open goal. What do you mean by shit happens? You literally shat yourself in front of thousands of people!

Winning is everything. The only way to win is to pass the ball in a way your teammate likes to receive it, and not the way you like to pass it. I mean heavens forbid he has to stretch out a leg to receive a pass. If it’s not inch perfect, he will simply not chase after it. And then there’s you, sat at home screaming at the TV. Blood pressure through the roof. Pass the remote before you pass out!

Harmless Banter. Your team has just had their arse handed to them over the weekend and suddenly you can’t bear social media anymore. You can’t even pass by the TV anymore because for whatever reason the match highlights are on repeat. Close friends and family and dialing your phone but you can’t pick up. Because you were so sure, but nothing prepares you for disgrace.

Defeat builds character. You don’t stop supporting because of an embarrassing defeat. You’re not a fair weather fan. It’s your oath, the passion for the club runs deep in your veins. You take the losses on your chin and keep it moving. Because your team lost you have suddenly lost your appetite? Can never be me. I will ensure my body gets all the necessary nutrients. And next match-day…

We go again

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