Man Meet Your Creator, The End

The stories of evolution are absolutely hilarious. If you take into account what some cultures believe happened in The Beginning. Scientists swear we evolved from apes and it’s kinda believable. If you live in Lagos, and you’re driving, there’s the off chance you run into a few chimpanzees on the expressway. I mean, how else do you stop to pick up passengers in the middle of the expressway, if your ancestors weren’t monkeys?

According to the indigenous Yoruba people of Nigeria. Oranmiyan Omoluabi Odede descended from the sky with soil in one hand and a hen in the other. During his descent, he let go of the soil and it became earth and the hen laid eggs which constitute the Yoruba people today. So I’m guessing he came down in a parachute and landed safely in Ile Ife. Absolutely believable. The Igbo version is just as interesting, apparently, Chineke and the heavens were really close to surface earth initially but the Igbo women who used to pound a lot of spices in their mortar and pestle were making a lot of noise. So much so, Chineke himself decided he’d had enough and decided to put a considerable amount of distance between himself and them.

There’s also talk of alternate realities where there are several versions of you living somewhat identical lives as the one you currently live. Imagine all your sims are equally as clumsy as you are now, giving God the temptation to forever eliminate you from history. What if those people that supposedly got sucked into the “Bermuda triangle” actually don’t want to come back? As opposed to the notion that they’ve died. Imagine the partying going on, maybe they don’t even age. Possibilities.

The biggest mystery to me is that of conception. Were we somewhere chilling in the great beyond pre-birth or were we being created on-demand? I’m having flashes of “Boss Baby” here. Imagine we had the choice of choosing the family and place of our birth. Best believe I won’t be Nigerian, at the very least. I would gladly pass up the opportunity of being born in the first place. My folks already got three, I think that’s enough suffering for one family. Don’t you think?

Some folks believe in reincarnation. The concept is rather fascinating. You live a full fulfilled life and die. Only to be birthed in another part of the world a second time. Talk about a second coming! Best believe if and when I die, I hope to come back as Royalty. The retinue of servants, a snap of my fingers and my desires are met. Wishful thinking, that. Imagine you die and come back as a ram, the downside being there’s the off chance you get sacrificed to some gods as a burnt offering, the upside is you serve as a meal to a family. Barka da Sallah.

Purgatory must be a fun idea especially if you’ve been spiraling out of control in this world. Imagine being a hired assassin and still have the nerve to ask for a second chance when you kick the bucket? John Wick’s behavior. Indians supposedly worship all sorts including cows, snakes, and trees. Now just for a second, imagine you die and you’re welcomed to paradise by a talking cow. Now you gotta explain the beef you’ve had in your lifetime. Vegetarians get a free pass of course.

Christians always go on about how they can’t wait to get to heaven, but in the face of impending doom, they pray the loudest. I’ve always maintained that when I die, it should be of natural causes. No illnesses or a break out epidemic. Imagine dying from a scorpion sting, how lousy is that? On an episode of The Simpson’s, a guy was on the roof of a tall building contemplating suicide. As a crowd gathered, you could hear him screaming about how he wanted to end it all. Of all the responses, the one that really got me tickled was when a bystander shouted, “do a flip“. If you’re going to die, make it glorious.

When you do close your eyes eventually, hopefully, you’ve made peace with people here on this side of the divide. For those that believe nothingness awaits on the other side, it must really suck. What is living without hope? Something has to get you through every day, be it family, friends, religion, hope or money. In the words of Martin Luther King Jnr, Keep Hope Alive.

To infinity and beyond!

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