In the military, there’s a saying that “if it’s possible for things to get worse, they’ll definitely get worse”. You saw this one coming, didn’t you? What you didn’t see coming though, was what your towel had to say about you. Oh and yeah watch out for sponge, she thinks there’s some sort of injustice against her. Since it appears you’ve totally abandoned her, in favor of your palms. She maintains that she is made for the human body and not shoes, bags or surprisingly, plates!
Toothbrush has asked me to tell you that he isn’t some weapon of mass destruction. First of all, you hold him with a vice grip. Then, the speed and velocity with which you brush your teeth have reduced his lifespan drastically. He is rapidly becoming bald. He has submitted a request to end this abusive relationship. He also warned he will one day speak out if you persist.
The fridge has complained about a lack of regard for her well-being. She has a vegetable compartment for vegetables! But you decided to put bottles of water in there, instead. Probably because you’re obviously wiser than her manufacturers. She’s also asked to appeal that it isn’t everything that goes into a fridge. The other day you put an entire pot of stew into the fridge, it spilled and now everywhere you look, there’s stew. Mostly because acute laziness would not let you transfer the stew into a bowl.
The towel was a mess. Borrowing a line from the classic movie Beasts of No Nation, his words were and I quote; “I’ve seen terrible things”. He told me you’re the type to don your towel pre-bath. The health implications are damning given he’s asthmatic. The post-bath suffering isn’t as bad. The only problem being, unlike in the ads, you wouldn’t just dab like a normal person. Instead, you focus all your energy on wiping dry. He’s asked me to plead on his behalf.
I took a trip to the kitchen and best believe it took a while to calm the commotion. The cups swear you never wash them properly. They have a point though, seeing as all you do is pour water in them, shake twice, before pouring the water away. Whatever happened to putting two fingers with a sponge and running right through? The forks complained that there are food particles stuck in them from several months ago. In fact, the entire cutlery is threatening to go on a strike!
The bed, he’d like to plead that you should sometimes use bedsheets. He understands that you’d rather lie on him bare but there’s climate change and you’re both trying to survive. He’s also convinced that there’s a ghost living full time beneath him. I’m inclined to believe since you’ve never really looked under. Also, there are plates under the bed that clamor to be washed. They think they have served their penance don’t you think?
Look, I can’t actually take this anymore! There are so many other items to interview and it’s becoming increasingly unlikely that I sample everyone’s opinion. I mean the fan is here blowing disease in protest and that’s disheartening to see. When you do get home today, there could well be a riot. It’s time to brace up and do better.
Sanctions are coming!
Β© Gottfried. All rights reserved.
Talk to me!!!
I’m glad I found you out today…
I mean with all the seeming protests, nerves are raging..
We should be calming down
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I’m glad you found me too. Hope you’re enjoying my posts βΊοΈ
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Yes I amπππ
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Cool π
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Talking furniture Haha yes had loved your first take on this topic more.
This is hilarious too!
Maybe the towel was from the hotel/lodge where people do that thing (to use it for shoes/other purpose) before checking out.
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Haha, why would you even do that to the innocent towels?
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I don’t at all practice that. Stop being involved in the post. You are talking to a human being! πππ
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Haha, I hear ya
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Glad that you are hearing words from a human ππ
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It’s a welcome development
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Haha i guess so!
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Let’s see how it goes
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It will be good. Hey, you asked when are you posting, new post is up on my blog!
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I’m headed over ASAP!
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Hehe thanks ππ
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I got you!
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Yess π
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π
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Interesting
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Of course
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π
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Lol just like my posts and be on your way π
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π€£
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π
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I can feel their pains….. items that knows how to sorosokeππ
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Haha, they need to speak up
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Your observations are just, on some other heavenly level ππ
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Haha, why thank you π
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Really, you asking why, it needs certain eyes to look and then write all that, without forgetting the essence, great observations indeed, respect π
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Awww my heart is about to explode
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A bald toothbrush must be a victim of domestic brutality. This should be condemned, Ebuka.
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haha, no shit!
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