The Little Things

Dinner is served. It’s fried Rice and Turkey. I’m amped up! George just got back from the boarding house. It’s a celebration. Two seconds into the meal, I hear a not-so-familiar sound. I look up and see George trying to force a helping of rice into a mouth that is already full, worse still he’s talking and there’s saliva at both corners of his mouth. Almost fulfilling prophesy, a particle of food flies across the table and lands on my forehead. That’s it! I’ve lost my appetite! George!

In life, there are quite a few “little” things that make you want to pull your hair out! And sometimes somewhat inexplicably, you can’t tell why those things annoy you so much. But they do! If you’re in doubt, why is the common consensus that skinny people eat a lot of food and don’t get fat, annoying to some? Coming from the same people that fed us the mantra “You are what you eat”. To be fair, some people are shaped like donuts, but that’s a story for another day!

When a person breathes out and you feel the air on your skin. Who knows what followed? Mucus? Phlegm? I feel violated! It’s not enough that you’re competing with me for the little oxygen available, you’re also confident enough to make sure I’m aware it’s happening? If you don’t carry your vacuum shaped nose away from here!

Lending money out and not getting it back. You ever lend someone money, the due date has elapsed and they’ve still not paid up? But you can see them getting fresher and fatter? Tragic.

I’m not saying I cannot empathize with your situation David? But you just bought Balenciaga shoes! Explain this!!!

Some even ask for more money to make it a round figure before they repay what they owe. How exactly are you inspiring any confidence with that utter crap?

Drama. Like most, I appreciate drama, so long as it’s far away from me. I wronged you. I agree, maybe I shouldn’t have eaten the chicken wings you left in the fridge (Delicious 😋 by the way). Is that reason enough to go about telling every soul that lent you an ear? Might as well get you to the podium at the G-8 summit to properly air your grievances. Now I’m stuck between being genuinely sorry and reminiscing how tasty the wings were.

Rummaging through my belongings. I appreciate whatever bond we share but it doesn’t include sharing items of clothing, toiletries or deodorants (can’t believe I’m having to say this). This one time I’m searching for my bath soap, when I eventually find it, I resolved it was much safer to bath with detergent than to attempt to use it. Imagine the effrontery of someone launching an item of yours, without your consent/knowledge?

If you’ve seen THE DICTATOR, there’s a scene where Zoey breaks the news that she’s pregnant. Aladeen responds to the news by asking if Zoey is having “a boy or an abortion”. So the next time you ask me why I’m upset over these little things, remember that people have been killed…