That’s Just Human

~ Gottfried

You stop and stare at your reflection in the mirror one early morning and wonder to yourself, what kind of human stares into the mirror first thing in the morning? Then you chuckle, stop midway and wonder to yourself, this is crazy! How am I thinking and I can hear my own thoughts? Am I losing my mind? What manner of sorcery is this?

There are innate characteristics that earn us the acclaim of higher animals but are we really any smarter than the rest? In terms of organization, we pale in comparison to the ants. Nobody teaches a better lesson on leadership than the alpha of the wolf pack. Tigers hunt alone and are the masters of solitude. If you were to come back as an animal, which would it be and why? But what really makes us stand out as human? Brain capacity? All humans do is…

Laugh. “Did you get the joke? I didn’t either but since it came from Gottfried, it’s probably funny”. Of course, you know by now that he who laughs last is a bloody idiot. How slow can you possibly be? People that start laughing midway into the joke so much so they can’t finish it. What exactly is your problem? This might work if you’re funny, but if you have that disease that repels laughter, I suggest you test run the joke ten times, to yourself, in the bathroom stall. Practice

Make Comparisons. Humans are wired to always compare. We always want to see which option seems better than the other. Yes, your boyfriend is richer than hers but there are women being killed and raped in Sudan so what’s more important?

Father: My son, take a leaf from David, why can’t you be like him?

Son: With all due respect Sir, you’re older than Mark Zuckerberg but here we are, in the dark because somebody couldn’t pay the electricity bill.

Father: Say sike 💀

Lie unprovoked. There is the innate desire in the average human to lie albeit sometimes unconsciously.

Gottfried: Are you eating?

Happiness: No? (Looks up with guilt in her eyes)

Gottfried: So why is there butter on both corners of your mouth?

Happiness: It’s lip gloss…

So, why do people really lie? Necessity? Impulse? For some, they imagine life loses its excitement when they don’t embellish their stories. A lecturer once told my class that he had eye surgery and in the process, the surgeons took out both his eyes from their sockets and washed them in soapy water! Looking back, he didn’t rate us at all 😑

Think they know it all. Now I’m all for having people believe what they what to believe and not judge them for it but it seems too much for some. This parent was complaining about the four-year-old son. What was the complaint? The boy was spending an awful amount of time talking to an imaginary friend. Not that I’m making a case for the boy, but he does watch his father kneel every night and communicate deeply with thin air. Chew on that

Fight. Humans invoke violence seemingly unnecessarily at times. There is always the need to settle conflicts with harsh measures. Even when it’s non-physical, we still engage in a “war of wars”. And there are some individuals that are obsessed with having the last word.

Fine!

Okay!

Have a nice life!

Hrrmph!

The hell is “Hrrmph”? In the end, with the destruction we’re inflicting on the earth, we might even go extinct in the near future because we’re just being human after all.

Right?

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

138 thoughts on “That’s Just Human”

  4. Gottfried, you haven’t lost a step with your humor. I’ve been away traveling, but I might have made it back a day sooner. I was preoccupied with “self” when a mirror wouldn’t release me until I tore him off of the hotel wall. Now he stares at me all night in moments of self-reflection.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

      1. my imaginary friend cooks so well he gets offended if I want to cook myself … what do you say? am I munching the table leg? no, i mean really … it’s not that you don’t appreciate your food, but

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

      1. I’m teasing… my invisible friend wouldn’t stop talking and I couldn’t concentrate. He was telling me how I should give him more money… as if 10% wasn’t enough already. I’m like “what the heck for?” He said he was trying to build a building or something… crazy cat— how many more buildings does he need?!?!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

Leave a reply to Esther Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.