Beauty Sleep

~ Gottfried

A well-spent day brings happy sleep. No denying, sleep in itself is important. A decent night’s rest can make a positive impact on your entire day, so it’s no surprise really that you’re more productive after a healthy dose. It’s a bit surprising to me though, that those who get a full hours night rest, still somehow find the time to nap in the afternoon. Where do you unlock that batch of sleep from?

Sleep is for the rich. You know you’re rich when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. Steve Harvey made some now-famous quotes about sleep.

“Rich people don’t sleep eight hours a day! That’s a third of your life. It ain’t but 24 hours in a day! You cannot be asleep eight hours a day!”

I think he was spittin’ some major bull shit. If I was heir to a multi-billionaire(in dollars), best believe my days starts whenever I wake up.

Out like a light. I sometimes struggle with trying not to sleep, especially if I have reason to be up. But if I’m not getting any help, it becomes all the more difficult. If you’re texting someone late at night, fast replies are simply a must. Case in point. I once met this gorgeous lady at a function and we exchanged contacts.

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I checked my network and made sure the message delivered.

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A WHOLE minute later!

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Too late! 

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Between us, you know it was not even my fault. Sixty seconds is a long time at night.

Sleepy eyes. You ever saw someone that looked like they’re half asleep all the time? Or the creepy group, who, while supposedly asleep, don’t fully close their eyes. So as you’re sneaking to their cupboard to steal from their provisions, it looks like they’re watching you the whole time.

Sleeping beauty. In today’s society, a story like ‘Sleeping Beauty’ will be met with so much criticism. What do you mean that only a man worthy of her love could break the curse? Shying away from that, how do you kiss someone WITHOUT their consent? Isn’t that harassment of some sort? Feminists in the house, please walk me through this.

Good parenting. The wife just had a baby and the incessant crying was starting to take a toll on our household. Just when we are about to get back-to-back hours of sleep, this happens!

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She wins the argument(don’t they always). I go to do the business.

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But what am I supposed to do?

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She left me with no choice.

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Bizarre sleeping positions. Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. You see some people with sleeping positions that oftentimes raise an eyebrow. I can understand babies who sleep with their bum raised in the air, but sis, aren’t you a bit too old for that?

This one time in school I caught a boy sleeping in the most unlikely place. He was in the shower. And yes! Water was running down his face as he slept. I wonder what demons he was battling. And if you think that’s bad, let me tell you about another boy who while sleeping, fell from the top bunk, flat on the ground and continued sleeping.

For the doubters who find it difficult to believe the tale, here’s an extra twist. He sustained a cut on his head and was indeed bleeding. In hindsight, I am inclined to believe he must have passed out. But how do you explain the fact that he was SNORING?

I leave you with a few nuggets of wisdom. Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. If you want a head start on tomorrow, eat breakfast tonight – that way you can sleep until lunchtime. Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I’m reborn. In all, here’s a keen piece of advice. Your future depends on your dreams…

so go to sleep

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

446 thoughts on “Beauty Sleep”

  2. I know I’m not rich yet, but it’s annoying when I sleep for long hours and my conscience start hitting me like “is this what u want to do with your life”
    Like bitch, where the f**k were you when I was working long hours without rest…….

    Now I just ignore my conscience, eat some edibles and sleep for a whole 24hrs without break; if I perish, I perish 😁

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  3. Nice write up. So what do you say about those of us who are nocturnal? Regardless, Sleep is one of the greatest gifts to Humanity. I’ll say sleep but don’t oversleep. Sleep but keep your dreams alive.

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  4. Lmao, I’m guilty of that late replies and please husbands should also know how to put a baby to sleep, we(wives) can’t tell you everything, this is where your fathering skills comes into play😂😂😂.

    Ehnehn, one last thing, it’s not bad to sleep with bumbum raised in the air, lmao.
    No one’s old for that.

    Nice one by the way👍, It’s funny and interesting because I love ”sleep”😂😋😉

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        1. Lol… Both really, late replies if I find it difficult to get words, etc. and the latter cos it’s sensational 😂, just that I wake up to find out that I ‘side-sleep’ throughout…

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  8. This post really cracked me up…I literally laughed through every paragraph.
    I imagined how I would have laughed so hard if I was at the scene where the dude fell from the bunk and continued snoring 😂 I’ve actually seen people fall from bunks but not to continue sleeping on the floor afterwards. Lol.

    Also, thanks for the piece of advice,I’m considering going back to sleep right now since my future depends on my dreams. I hope to dream big!

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  9. This really got me.. *where do u unlock that batch of sleep from*🤣🤣

    Interesting.. well am guilty 😭.. I can’t keep up with late night chats, without sleeping off… epp me😀. And yes I talk in my sleep especially wen u wake me up.. Eg.. i was charging my phone in d parlor, chatting too, then I slept off on d couch, of cos my phone slipped off my hands, middle of the night, mom came waking me up, go to ur room (then I started speaking in parables 🤣🤣🤣🤣) she told me d next morning..

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  10. Sleeping is for the sick cos I don’t think it’s advisable for a man who knows he hasn’t achieved all he wants in life to continue to sleep cos sleeping makes the brain go to rest when it hasn’t worked out succcess

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