Why You Should Get A Haircut

~ Gottfried

A haircut is a style in which your hair has been cut. Throughout history, haircuts have been used to make a statement. Personally, Mohawk has to be the most iconic haircut in history. I’ve never seen a trend catch like wildfire as it did. Some notable iconic haircuts over the years; from Adolf to Ronaldo De Lima in the 2002 world cup, then to Kim Jong Un, here are reasons why you should get a haircut.

Stay smart. My mother has a theory about hair. It is that the longer the hair grows, the dumber a person becomes. She warns that too much hair will suck nutrients away from the head, and leave it empty. Now I can poke holes in this theory. Thanks to our little buddy, Corona. Suddenly, the hair on my head and chin no longer give her a heart attack. Who would have thought? I’m not doing badly now, am I?

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Channel your inner beauty. Beauty comes from the inside. And by inside, I mean inside a hair salon. What’s the worst that could happen? Twenty minutes later, you’ll have your answer. And then as you’re leaving the salon, your worst nightmare shows up. That friend with a smart mouth. ‘Oh, you cut your hair! What happened? Are you going through a breakup or something?’ That’s it, you need to get a hat.

Loyalty. There’s a big difference between having a barber, and someone that cuts your hair. All men are loyal to their barbers. They might cheat on you sweetie, but nothing is coming between a man and his barber. It’s a better love story than twilight. At the salon, if you get in and your main barber is not around, don’t let anyone else touch your hair. I’ve seen this movie, I know how it ends. Usually with wailing.

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Therapy is expensive, get a haircut instead. You’re only as good as your last haircut. For men, haircuts are equivalent to putting on makeup. Before your visit to the salon, you could have well passed for a 4/10 or 3/10 depending on your genes. Twenty minutes later, after your barber gives you a fresh trim, you’re immediately elevated to a 10/10.  A haircut can take you from looking homeless to branch manager in a matter of minutes.

Life-changing experience. A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life. Whether it’s for better or worse, a woman who cuts her hair drastically is set to make some decisions. I do know that there is some ancient folklore that suggests that if you’re trying to grow your bum as a lady, you should get a haircut. Now if you do get that haircut, and your bum doesn’t come out still. Please recall that I called the theory ‘ancient folklore’ for a reason.

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Breaking the yoke. When life doesn’t allow you to change anything, get a haircut. In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs. Your barber will carve the corners of your head and before you know, you’re looking brand new. He repeats this trick at least once a week, four times a month. It’s no wonder he has one kid at Harvard and another at Yale. You’re funding it!

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Having difficulty crying? The difference between a child and an adult getting their haircut is that the child will cry during it. The adult will wait until afterward. Ultimately, beyond getting a horrible haircut, my greatest fear(should be yours too) remains going bald. Women aren’t exempt either. If you find out that your hair is thinning in the front, it’s because you overthink things. Now if your front hair isn’t thinning, the answer is simple…

you don’t think

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

560 thoughts on “Why You Should Get A Haircut”

  3. OMG!😂😂.
    Me: “Bros your oga no dey?”
    Apprentice: “yes, you wan cut hair?”
    Me: “yes”
    Apprentice: “Come make I barb you na”
    Me: “How many people remain?”
    Apprentice: oga, nobody
    Me: 🙄”make i buy recharge card, I dey come”
    Apprentice: I dey sell recharge card
    Me: 🙄you get Etisalat?
    Apprentice: yes oga, I get all of them
    Me: I no like this colour, you no get the pink one?😡
    Apprentice: oga no one get that Colour o
    Me: you for tell me say you no
    get am make i go where I dey buy am, mtchew😡

    Me: (in my mind singing) oh my home…oh my home…so you want to use my hair and learn how to cut…Olomaje!

    Liked by 10 people

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  4. Okay, that cracked me up pretty good 😂 what I extracted from this furtively inundated information is that I should probably think twice before getting that damned haircut. Now I’m gonna have to sue you for my thinning hair 😂😂

    Liked by 9 people

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          1. Well I’m stuck at depression for now, thank you.🙂😂

            Anyways..that was a really informative (though I’m not too sure about those “folklores”😂) write up. I really liked it !!

            Liked by 5 people

          2. Alina you’re gradualy becoming a favourite. Thank you for your kind words of flattery, my head is now double it’s size. 😄

            People never believe juju, till juju does what juju does. Same applies to folklore 😄😄😄

            Liked by 2 people

  5. Haha.
    I can relate to the shaving off of eyebrows.
    I once asked a friend to help me carve my eyebrows, gave her description of how I wanted it to look like and she sounded like she could handle it. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise of the magic she was to do, so I didn’t check the mirror till everything was done.
    I was indeed surprised. I lost 98% of my eyebrows. “Dude, I don’t wear makeup, how am I supposed to stay alive for the next month looking like this?” The worst was that I couldn’t even let those words out to her hearing. She is my friend and I wasn’t paying for her services. Justifiable! And to think that she was even thanking me for the opportunity to have her carve my brows for me.
    I checked the mirror everyday hoping for a quick miracle. Jokes on me. Miracles don’t happen that way. Do they?

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    1. It’s the absolute worst nightmare 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      98% 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Thanking you for the opportunity to ruin your face 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Nah this entire exchange is killing me 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Miracles happen, your brows vanished 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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    2. Yeahh, haircut is truly the equivalent of putting on make-up for women, after a nice haircut like dis u will be feeling like u own half of Facebook, greeting everyone u see on the street 😄

      Liked by 5 people

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  10. Wow! And folks like myself are looking for ways to not grow the hair, except, Oh well, the edges that are fading from too much thinking🤔.

    Besides, I really have to give a shout out to the barber who cares for the hair on my chin. Nigha’s a genius!

    Liked by 10 people

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