Why You Should Get A Haircut

~ Gottfried

A haircut is a style in which your hair has been cut. Throughout history, haircuts have been used to make a statement. Personally, Mohawk has to be the most iconic haircut in history. I’ve never seen a trend catch like wildfire as it did. Some notable iconic haircuts over the years; from Adolf to Ronaldo De Lima in the 2002 world cup, then to Kim Jong Un, here are reasons why you should get a haircut.

Stay smart. My mother has a theory about hair. It is that the longer the hair grows, the dumber a person becomes. She warns that too much hair will suck nutrients away from the head, and leave it empty. Now I can poke holes in this theory. Thanks to our little buddy, Corona. Suddenly, the hair on my head and chin no longer give her a heart attack. Who would have thought? I’m not doing badly now, am I?

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Channel your inner beauty. Beauty comes from the inside. And by inside, I mean inside a hair salon. What’s the worst that could happen? Twenty minutes later, you’ll have your answer. And then as you’re leaving the salon, your worst nightmare shows up. That friend with a smart mouth. ‘Oh, you cut your hair! What happened? Are you going through a breakup or something?’ That’s it, you need to get a hat.

Loyalty. There’s a big difference between having a barber, and someone that cuts your hair. All men are loyal to their barbers. They might cheat on you sweetie, but nothing is coming between a man and his barber. It’s a better love story than twilight. At the salon, if you get in and your main barber is not around, don’t let anyone else touch your hair. I’ve seen this movie, I know how it ends. Usually with wailing.

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Therapy is expensive, get a haircut instead. You’re only as good as your last haircut. For men, haircuts are equivalent to putting on makeup. Before your visit to the salon, you could have well passed for a 4/10 or 3/10 depending on your genes. Twenty minutes later, after your barber gives you a fresh trim, you’re immediately elevated to a 10/10.  A haircut can take you from looking homeless to branch manager in a matter of minutes.

Life-changing experience. A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life. Whether it’s for better or worse, a woman who cuts her hair drastically is set to make some decisions. I do know that there is some ancient folklore that suggests that if you’re trying to grow your bum as a lady, you should get a haircut. Now if you do get that haircut, and your bum doesn’t come out still. Please recall that I called the theory ‘ancient folklore’ for a reason.

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Breaking the yoke. When life doesn’t allow you to change anything, get a haircut. In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs. Your barber will carve the corners of your head and before you know, you’re looking brand new. He repeats this trick at least once a week, four times a month. It’s no wonder he has one kid at Harvard and another at Yale. You’re funding it!

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Having difficulty crying? The difference between a child and an adult getting their haircut is that the child will cry during it. The adult will wait until afterward. Ultimately, beyond getting a horrible haircut, my greatest fear(should be yours too) remains going bald. Women aren’t exempt either. If you find out that your hair is thinning in the front, it’s because you overthink things. Now if your front hair isn’t thinning, the answer is simple…

you don’t think

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

560 thoughts on “Why You Should Get A Haircut”

  4. Haha… What a great read! Practically laughing out loud all through. The fuller the hair, the dumber you get? Mom obviously was referring to you guys, she ain’t wrong tho… By their hair ye shall know them… 😂… Well done, my guy…

    Liked by 9 people

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  6. I gagged on every points especially the stay smart lmao. Now I am having second thoughts on not having a haircut this quarantine and planning to make it a lil bit curly 🤣

    Liked by 7 people

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      1. Omg but I beg to differ I ovethink too much yet it is still fine lmao maybe because I’m still young lmao. It comes with age and the idea of being bald when ur old scares me or even being old itself 😩

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        1. Your time is coming young sherlock 😂😂😂

          If you want you keep your hair, then you have to invest in real juju 😂

          Kidding, just dig up photos of your granpa on all sides. If you don’t see a hairline, I’ve got bad news for you 😂😂😂

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          1. I am wheezing lmao. I hate you hahaha it made me a lil bit worried because one of my uncle became bald one day and my older brother lost quite a few strands because of stress but oh well gotta enjoy this hair but it’s too soon for me to be worried about balding who knows I’ve been here longer enough lmao kidding

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Hahahaha Imma smash those die I tell you 🤣

            I don’t even pray but oh well just have to stay stress free then 🤣

            Liked by 1 person

  7. Very nicely written. I loved this. Specially the part where no one can come between a Man and a Barbar. Also, the point where a great change is about to happen when women cut their hair is also so true. I did cut my long hair some days back to get off the layers my ex knew. Lol.

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  8. This was a fun read, Gottfried!

    I was influencing my dad to get a haircut from me. He didn’t give in until the lockdown eased and salons opened. Poor me! I didn’t get a chance to try. 😧

    Liked by 5 people

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    1. Haha, I know this might not sound like great advice, but shave his eyebrows when he’s asleep. In the morning he’ll beg you to shave his head too. So that it’d be uniform. WIN-WIN situation 😄😄😄

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          21. Oops! I’m greatly disappointed. 😞

            I guess you got me wrong. I was to request Angel Jack to give YOU a free haircut. You missed the chance too. 😂

            Liked by 2 people

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