Why You Should Get A Haircut

~ Gottfried

A haircut is a style in which your hair has been cut. Throughout history, haircuts have been used to make a statement. Personally, Mohawk has to be the most iconic haircut in history. I’ve never seen a trend catch like wildfire as it did. Some notable iconic haircuts over the years; from Adolf to Ronaldo De Lima in the 2002 world cup, then to Kim Jong Un, here are reasons why you should get a haircut.

Stay smart. My mother has a theory about hair. It is that the longer the hair grows, the dumber a person becomes. She warns that too much hair will suck nutrients away from the head, and leave it empty. Now I can poke holes in this theory. Thanks to our little buddy, Corona. Suddenly, the hair on my head and chin no longer give her a heart attack. Who would have thought? I’m not doing badly now, am I?

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Channel your inner beauty. Beauty comes from the inside. And by inside, I mean inside a hair salon. What’s the worst that could happen? Twenty minutes later, you’ll have your answer. And then as you’re leaving the salon, your worst nightmare shows up. That friend with a smart mouth. ‘Oh, you cut your hair! What happened? Are you going through a breakup or something?’ That’s it, you need to get a hat.

Loyalty. There’s a big difference between having a barber, and someone that cuts your hair. All men are loyal to their barbers. They might cheat on you sweetie, but nothing is coming between a man and his barber. It’s a better love story than twilight. At the salon, if you get in and your main barber is not around, don’t let anyone else touch your hair. I’ve seen this movie, I know how it ends. Usually with wailing.

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Therapy is expensive, get a haircut instead. You’re only as good as your last haircut. For men, haircuts are equivalent to putting on makeup. Before your visit to the salon, you could have well passed for a 4/10 or 3/10 depending on your genes. Twenty minutes later, after your barber gives you a fresh trim, you’re immediately elevated to a 10/10.  A haircut can take you from looking homeless to branch manager in a matter of minutes.

Life-changing experience. A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life. Whether it’s for better or worse, a woman who cuts her hair drastically is set to make some decisions. I do know that there is some ancient folklore that suggests that if you’re trying to grow your bum as a lady, you should get a haircut. Now if you do get that haircut, and your bum doesn’t come out still. Please recall that I called the theory ‘ancient folklore’ for a reason.

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Breaking the yoke. When life doesn’t allow you to change anything, get a haircut. In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs. Your barber will carve the corners of your head and before you know, you’re looking brand new. He repeats this trick at least once a week, four times a month. It’s no wonder he has one kid at Harvard and another at Yale. You’re funding it!

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Having difficulty crying? The difference between a child and an adult getting their haircut is that the child will cry during it. The adult will wait until afterward. Ultimately, beyond getting a horrible haircut, my greatest fear(should be yours too) remains going bald. Women aren’t exempt either. If you find out that your hair is thinning in the front, it’s because you overthink things. Now if your front hair isn’t thinning, the answer is simple…

you don’t think

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

560 thoughts on “Why You Should Get A Haircut”

      1. I read this once: Native Americans were asked to join the US army, because of their strong intuition. They could ‘sense’ danger long in advance. However, their long locks were cut of, like everybody else’s. Then they lost their intuitive skills. It was sincerely blamed on the short hair.

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  4. How about, “why you should try being a witch doctor”? 😂😂

    All my enthusiasm for cutting my hair gone down the drain just like that.😭😭

    🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

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  7. As always most amusing! I have, however, started to cut my hear myself so that I don’t need neither hairdresser nor philosopher and save in this way a lot of money so that my children can also go to excellent schools! Many thanks:)

    Liked by 5 people

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  8. Your mother was right, of course. If growing long hair makes you stupid, you’d think you were getting smart, right? I went to the barber for a hair cut and then he cut them all!

    Liked by 4 people

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