Why You Shouldn’t Have Kids

~ Gottfried

Global warming. If you’re still trying to have a child at this point, you’re rooting for human extinction. We’re in a pandemic, don’t create another pandemic. If you hate doing laundry, that’s a clear sign you shouldn’t be considering it. Why would laundry exceed more than one load per week? Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Do you like your brief features? Think again, my friend. You might just be setting your kid up to be bullied.

You like to have money. Are you trying to make the wife lose her job? It spells less income for the family and an extra mouth to feed. Even as an armchair economist, you know this is a terrible idea. Heck, if you like your job, there’s no real reason to be giving it up. The task of shaping another human being should be left to the professionals. Did you turn out great? Where is the notion that you can raise a whole other human to turn great coming from?

You value your friends. Married couples with kids can count their friends on one hand. Friendships inevitably change after the birth of a child, most times for the worse. Once you have a kid, the chances of having friends around your house reduce by a country mile. Furthermore, if you enjoy spontaneous outings with friends, having a kid eliminates that possibility. Nobody is trying to come over to watch ‘Finding Dory’ with you, when the game is on!

A strain on your relationship. Marriages tend to suffer after the birth of a child. Whatever happened to getting to know your spouse first? Enjoy traveling to all the major cities. Because if/when a kid comes around, that’s the end of all the fun. You spend the rest of your youthful days working and sacrificing for them. If you would like things to stay exactly the way they are with your partner, don’t do it! Travelling with kids would have you questioning why you imagined it was a good idea at all.

Kids are whiny and needy. Not only are kids very needy and demanding, but they’re also not eligible to work according to labor laws. So not only do you have an extra mouth to feed, but it is also unemployed, adding insult to the pre-existing injury. If you like to eat meals sitting down, with real cutlery. It’s really not for you. They start with a spoon, and finish with their fingers! Also, if you like exercising aggressively, away from the view of everyone else, don’t have kids! The irony in this!

You like to sleep. If you enjoy taking power naps without worrying about some crack head falling off the balcony, then think again. Personally, I don’t think kids are for everyone. I’ve met some of you, who will fall dead asleep with zero awareness. Entrusting the care of a whole other human to you spells chaos. Plus your patience runs thin with adults, what’s stopping you from throwing the whole kid away? Kids say ‘no’ for fun, and they walk around like they own the place.

For fear of regret? Many people have kids because they “don’t want to regret not having them” or because others threaten they will. There is also the illusion that others are experiencing more pleasure, success, or fulfillment in their lives. Deep down, they secretly wish they were you. Free of responsibilities. You won’t regret having done things much more than regret things you’ve done. I’ve never shat myself under pressure. Any regrets? Nope!

I know there will be some moms and dads who would vehemently dispute the genius in what I have penned down. Don’t listen to them! “Oh Kids are adorable, they’re the sweetest”. All lies! Matter of fact, they’ve been trapped and are suffering Stockholm Syndrome. So the next time a video is making rounds on your social of an adorable looking assassin. Unlook, mute, and block all the individuals responsible for it. What is a home without children?

Quiet

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

754 thoughts on “Why You Shouldn’t Have Kids”

  5. I have no regrets about my child who is now my friend and a mom her self. However you make some incredibly great points about all sorts of extremely smart ideals that people get about having kids that are not true. The biggest one is if you have trouble in the marriage, have a child that will fix it – not. Also please for the sake of the children if you know you are a nervous type, etc. don’t have a lot of kids all at once. Start out with one and see if you can be a parent that doesn’t scream and yell. Great things to seriously consider all the things you mention. Great piece and love the cartoons. Have an amazing day. Love 💕 Joni

    Liked by 13 people

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    1. I agree with you. I think most people try to have kids to distract them from the fact that they’re drawing apart. They do so in the hope that they would have something uniform they would both love unconditionally.

      Thank you for this comment Joni. 💜

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      1. Haha😂😂… still I’m notioning about that…. how it came to your mind or how you reached at that point…. haha…. oh god…. but yeah really you are funny.. i like the way you put your thoughts you know…. whenever i read you post.. i feel happy and the most…. i laugh alot…. the people around me they ask me that what happened to you why are you laughing like insanely 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

        Liked by 2 people

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        1. haha, so I’m responsible for you laughing uncontrollably or that’s just how you laugh? 😂😂😂

          Just kidding, comments like this give me life.

          Thank you, have a lovely day!

          Liked by 3 people

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          1. Haha….. no no…. I’m not insane that I’ll laugh without any reason.. but sometimes i do like to make others laugh😂😂😂…. haha…

            Yup that’s okay…
            You deserve praise…. for yoir amazing thoughts to make people laugh….

            Thank you!… you too have a great day!🤗💕💕💐

            Liked by 2 people

          4. Did you notice?…. aftr making mistake… instead of correcting i did another mistake 😂😂😂😂…. and I’m telling that frst one is typo so I’m correcting it😂😂😂😂😂….. oh god how mad I’m

            Liked by 1 person

          14. I followed you on your instagram but you didn’t even looked upon it😔… this is very bad…. if you follow me over there then you are also adorable lest not🤗🤗🤗🤗😂😂😂😂😂😂…. just joking….. 💕💕

            Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha ha ha 😂😂I would love this, I am not good with kids, and I prefer a quiet house 😂. I’m not happy that I don’t have kids, but I may not be happy if I have one 🤪😜 The memes are simply hilarious 😜😜😜. Have a wonderful week ahead ✨🤗

    Liked by 8 people

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  8. I made 3 humans – loved every minute ❤️ still do!

    But that’s me – I am one of the ones who will tell you how amazing 😘✌️ Lol

    But it is not for everyone, totally correct with that one

    Liked by 9 people

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