It’s A Woman’s World

~ Gottfried

Looking at the world through the lens of a woman must be something. Women aren’t always moody, she’s on her off day for putting up with your shit. You see, for a woman, love is the whole history of her life. In a man, it is but an episode.  Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and that’s why they hate each other.  And say what you want about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six-hour argument takes talent.

Of course, women don’t work as hard as men. They get it right the first time. It’s a thing of the mind. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s and that’s only because she changes it more often. I think they also feed the ego of men when they pretend to not be able to open a jar. Because when you’re ‘play fighting’ with them, you get a taste of their sheer power when those blows start to sting. I have since retired the phrase ‘hit me with your best shot’.

When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said. For me, I don’t bother changing what I said. You heard it once, you’re gonna hear it twice. What is dead may never die.  Sometimes you have no idea whether it’s what you said that got her mad, and she won’t bother to give a hint. So stop bothering, because behind every angry woman, stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat, she’s probably slightly upset. In truth, to generalize on women might be dangerous, but to specialize in them is infinitely worse. I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against. Good girls are found in every corner of the earth, unfortunately, the earth is round.

Women are excellent communicators. There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tell-a-woman. The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised. I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife. And when you refuse to take a hint, they employ the two most deadly weapons in the world; nagging and tears!

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. I’m sick of all this ruling from the background shit they’re doing. If women ruled the world, then there would be no wars. Just a couple of nations not talking with each other. Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it. Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it! The art of deception. And say what you want about women, they are the real architects of society.

God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed. A woman may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid. But she is never ever wrong. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Actually three, but none of them works. Zero accountability with that species.

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Women make me happy and accepting that I will never be able to understand them makes me even happier. Only a woman can make a man feel wrong when he does good. If you don’t take away anything, take this; Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think…

in a deeper voice.

© Gottfried. All rights reserved

736 thoughts on “It’s A Woman’s World”

  3. I could not stop laughing until the last sentence. Tears in my eyes..fun ones ofcourse. I really really like your way of writing. Good going. Someone should make each of these phrases into instagram worthy posts on canva. Love it!!!

    Liked by 3 people

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  5. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but this was pretty funny and mostly true. Just think how boring life would be if we didn’t keep you guessing all the time.

    Liked by 3 people

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  6. I love this piece bro. This piece is music to my soul, you are genius bro.. women can’t be understood, just follow their lead and be safe.

    Liked by 4 people

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